#what if we tormented the vaggie a little more
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gods i want jealous! Vaggie with a twist
i want her to actually be both insecure af whenever Emily's near Charlie
AND also legit terrified what heaven might do to Emily if she keeps speaking up for the hotel
Vaggie dragging Sir Pentious aside ordering him to keep an EYE on her and he (and Charlie bc he mentioned it to her bc he asssumed sssshe already knew) thinks Vaggie's asking him to spy on Emily bc she doesn't trust her
and Charlie's like ok considering what the OTHER angels my gf used to trust did to her this is a pretty normal reaction to have??? like I'm gonna have to be EXTRA nice to Emily to make up for it but I can't really blame my gf????? Charlie not knowing she's making it worse-
BUT Vaggie ISN'T asking for Pentious to spy she meant for him to watch Emily's back and she TRIED telling Emily to do the same for him but she couldn't stop glaring while saying it (jealous) so it came out more like a threat
"Hey seraphim. You had BETTER stick close to our reformed snake man now he's up in heaven..."
idk i just really THIRST for Vaggie being torn!
On the one hand, she doesn't want literal perfect seraphim Emily anywhere near her girlfriend bc she hates herself and can totally see WHY Charlie might want better than her but also is still jittery from the fallout after her past was exposed and doesn't want to risk not being part of Charlie's life so if Emily would just stay away that'd be great-
on the OTHER hand she physically can't stop worrying heaven will do to Emily. like literally. her scars ache just thinking about it. what if heaven (or Lute) gets fed up and does to the young fiery seraphim it did to her
she can't stand the idea of another angel going through anything like what she did, the thought of Lute up there in heaven and Emily not seeing her as a danger is making Vaggie lose sleeps at night and FRUSTRATINGLY ENOUGH there's part of her that can ONLY relax when Emily is visiting down in hell (and touching her gf's hands waaaaay too much while Charlie smiles about it)
like GRRRR if Charlie thinks Vaggie's just being traumatized and suspicious so she doesn't know to sooth her about the jealously thing
and Emily sees the jealously thing but brushes off any hints about heaven maybe being a threat to HER now and unknowingly just puts Vaggie MORE on edge because of it
if LUTE was the only one smirking knowing what Vaggie's actually thinking and dropping little veiled threats, deliberately freaking Vaggie out more and getting Vaggie to act weirder by standing behind Emily with her sword out or playing nice and reasonable in public so Sera appoints her as Emily's guard during visits
Lute figuring she can use all this seeming paranoia / jealously from Vaggie to set Vaggie up for something by slowly emotionally isolating her bc of course she's too shit a liar to explains stuff without admitting she IS jealous and of course Vaggie's also too scared to risk Charlie's reaction to that
meanwhile Vaggie's at her wits end struggling between to urge to get between Emily and Lue for protection or stand between Emily and Charlie as a girlfriend and
oh it could make her such a nervous worn out WRECK i just LOVE thinking about it >:D
#hazbin hotel#vaggie#emily hazbin hotel#chaggie#lute hazbin hotel#au ideas#what if we tormented the vaggie a little more
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I know canonically Alastor doesn't sleep but let's assume it's not because he doesn't have to but because he doesn't want to - he feels powerless and vulnerable when he sleeps, also he is tormented by nightmares.
What if one night everyone is waken up by hotel almost falling apart: walls are cracking, everything is shaking, and a green glow is flowing through the corridors. Turns out, Alastor is asleep and having a very bad nightmare. And unless they want the hotel to fall apart, someone has to wake Alastor up... (reader volunteers as a tribute)
LOTS of angst with a comfor ending? :)
You ask, Anon - and I deliver (at last)! Thank you for being so patient with me! Today just felt right to write this, and I sincerely hope you find it worth the wait! <3 TW: Depictions of Blood - Minors DNI - 2.8k words
The Eye of the Storm
"What the fuck is going on?!"
Another loud boom shakes the ground of the corridor, almost making you trip and fall if not for the handrail you managed to grab. Angels door opened at the other end, a scared squeal of Fat Nuggets faintly audible as Angel stumbled out, clearly as startled and scared as you.
"Fuck, toots, what is that?"
"I have no idea!"
You had no idea, but whatever was causing it, the entire building was shaking like in an earthquake and you were terrified some of the older, worn out parts of your floor could collapse any moment. The cracks on the walls were growing with every rumble, and a bright, green glow had overtook the lamps, turning the usually warm and inviting space into an eerie nightmare.
You exchanged a terrified look with Angel, both of you unsure what to do next. He hurried over to you, his piglet shaking in two of his arms, taking your hand with his free one and pulled you with him. "C'mon, we need to find Charlie, before the fucking ceiling falls on our heads."
You didn't even have the time to reply before the lights went off, a terrified scream leaving your mouth before you could stop it. You heard a string of curses from Angel and felt him squeeze your hand tighter. The both of you ran down the stairs as fast as you were able to in the dim darkness. You tripped several times, but Angel held you steady, trying his best to not fall himself. The lights went on again with another rumble, making the stairway moan like it was in pain.
"Charlie! Vaggie!"
You reached the lobby, where you found the rest of the residents already gathered. Everyone was there, looking shaken and confused, but unharmed. You saw them look around and then up to the ceiling, the cracking of the wood and walls sounding louder and more violent than upstairs.
"Ey, you two, are yo' hurt?" Husk yelled over the noise, his eyes scanning Angel with a worried look.
You shook your head, letting the spiders hand go so he could run up to Husk, who took his pig into his arms and hugged Angel close.
"Is everyone alright? Where's Niffty... and Alastor?" Charlie's voice sounded shaky, and you could tell she was doing her best to keep calm and not freak out.
"I'm here!" The little cyclops girl appeared behind Sir Pentious's hat, her eye wide. "But I think Alastor's not okay."
"What do you mean?" Vaggie asked, her hands stiff on Charlies trembling shoulders.
Niffty looked around, biting her lip. "He has bad dreams sometimes, and he's really scary when he does, and then stuff like this happens. He can't control his powers, and-"
"Wait, so it's HIM who's causing all of this?" Vaggie's eye widened in anger and another boom made the whole lot of you duck as the glasses from the bar fall from their shelves, flooding the floor with shards of glass and debris.
"Yes, but he can't help it, it's his brain messing up! We need to help him!"
Vaggie cursed, while Charlie and the others started to ramble over another.
"Someone has to wake him up, before the hotel really collapses."
"Are 'ya crazy, Charls? We can't go in there!"
"Yeah, at this state, yo' won't know that fucker won't rip yo' to shreds befo' you even reach his room."
"It'ssss better to evacuate, I think."
"And leave the building to fall into pieces? Ugh, maldito idiota de la radio..."
Your head turned worriedly back to the green glowing corridor. Alastor. What the hell kind of bad dream would make him lose control over his powers like that? Niffty said it was his brain messing up, whatever that meant - did he really suffer from nightmares? You felt a sting of worry for the deer demon. You didn't even want to imagine the kind of terrors he had to have in his head to cause something like this.
"I'm gonna go."
Everyone stopped talking and looked at you. Husk gave you an incredulous look, still holding Angel and the pig in his arms. "Y-yo' can't be serious. That's straight-up suicide."
You shook your head. "Someone has to. I'll be fine, just... get out of here, wait outside and make sure no one is getting hurt."
Angel tore himself out of the cat demons grasp, taking you by your shoulders, his eyes pleading. "Toots, Alastor is not himself right now. He can't control what the fuck he's doing, and if he hurts 'ya, I don't... Please, don't do this, that bastard ain't worth it."
You knew the spider demon was worried, and you appreciated your friends' concern, but he didn't know the Radio Demon as well as you did. You were aware of his reputation, the stories of his atrocities and his sadistic nature. You knew how cruel and unforgiving he could be, but you also knew that over the last few weeks, he had shown you a softer, less menacing side. You and him bonded over his love of cooking and your love of eating what he prepared, over your shared interest for record players and classical music and your affinity to magic and the obscure. He could be a lot of things, but he wasn't just the bloodthirsty serial killer most of the denizens of hell made him out to be.
You gave the spider a smile, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Don't worry about me, Angel, it's going to be alright. He's my friend, I can't just leave him in there to get crushed by the building."
Before you could be held back, you started to run towards the stairs. Charlie cried out to you, but you ignored her, you just took a last glance back, shouting as you vanished into the darkness.
"Just trust me, and get your asses out of here."
"Fuck."
The group stood there, unsure what to do, and a loud snap coming from the second floor made them turn and run for the doors.
The higher you climbed the stairs, the more intense the shaking and rumbling got. You had to crawl on the steps at times, because it was too dangerous to walk, and you didn't trust your legs not to give way under you. The walls were splitting, the green light was burning in the lamps, and the air was crackling with what seemed like dark magic, ominous glowing symbols appearing and fading in your vicinity.
When you finally reached Alastor's door, it was already hanging from the hinges. It had probably blown when the magic started to burst out in violent waves, the green glow brightly pulsating and threatening from within the inside. You wondered if your heart could beat any faster without giving way. It wasn't the first time you were scared witless, hell wasn't exactly a carnival. But as much as you believed the best about Alastor, he still was one of hell's most powerful overlords. He still had countless bodies in his name. You trusted him, but if Niffty and the others were right - and it seemed to be the case that they were - he had little to no control over himself when lost in a nightmare. Could a demon like him sleepwalk and kill you in their sleep?
You took a breath and squared your shoulders, turning around to call into the room, not daring to set a foot inside yet.
"Alastor? It's me. Can you hear me?"
The rattling of the sudden radio static made the framed pictures on the wall shatter to the ground, and from the edge of your field of vision you noticed the lights fade once more, turning the already ghost-like bedroom almost black. You reached for the doorway and lowered your voice.
"It's me, you have to listen, okay? It's okay. I just came to check on you. It's safe now. You are safe."
No answer, again. The darkness felt suffocating, as if it was about to crush you any minute. You felt dizzy, disoriented, like a rabbit that had caught the eyes of a fox. You didn't dare say anything else, not until you could at least see him, figure out what was going on. With shaking legs, you took a step over the threshold. The lamps flickered again and you tried your best not to stumble as you scanned the room in front of you in between the shutters of brightness for traces of the other demon.
When you found him, you had to bite down a cry of horror.
You wished you hadn't.
He was curled up and violently shaking on his bed, the covers ripped and laying in pieces around his sweating body. His head was almost between his knees, hair spiky and disheveled and his overgrown and twisted antlers slicing the mattress and pillows with every tremor rushing through him. You could barely see him, the flickering lights making his face obscured in the shadows, but what you could see made your heart sink. He was sobbing in between shattering breaths, his chest heaving up and down erratically and his claws digging deep ridges into his torso as his body jerked and twisted, blood pooling into the covers in deep red.
"Al." You couldn't control yourself anymore. The shock, the dread and worry freed your legs from their stupor and you rushed to the hunched form, nearly stumbling on the ripped fabrics.
His eyes flew open at the touch of your fingers, burning in bright crimson with ticking dials as irises, almost completely overtaking his entire eye sockets. The howling of radio static screeched from his lips as the room shook again as he bared his sharp teeth, his clawed hands swiping at you with violent intensity that send you flying on the ground. You tried to catch yourself, but fell to your side, letting out a pained cry as you felt the wound on your waist, dripping with blood and split wide open.
You watched him with wide eyes as his limbs grew, afraid to even move. His stare was petrifying you, you had never seen such violent, uncontrolled expression on him. He growled, his head turning towards you, his mouth, no, maw opening. He looked like he wasn't there anymore, that nothing left was inside besides a manic creature ready to slaughter everything it crossed. A nightmarish beast in its lair that had cornered a small helpless prey, ready to be swallowed alive.
He got up in one swift motion, the pieces of fabric that once were bedcovers flying through the air and a dark aura creeping into your vicinity. Your breath hitched. You couldn't get out of his range with him like that, the open wound kept you from moving fast, and his maw was so big it seemed he could rip you apart by just inhaling.
"Alastor, it's okay. It's me." you breathed, desperate not to lose hope. There must be something that could call to him in the deepest parts of his mind, something that could snap him out of this lucidity. You scrambled back as he stepped in front of you, lowering his head to meet your eye level. His claws dragged on the floor beside him, and in a sudden, swift move, his large hands grasped you, the pressure on the gash blindingly painful.
"I-It's okay, it's not y-you, it's just a bad dream. I'm here to h-help you. Let me..." You gasped, a sob leaving your throat as his claws started to dig into you.
"Nnnghh... Y...-you c..c-c-an't ...-he..lp...m...m-e-e.."
A snarl left his lips and he raised his face into the air, his arms lifting you effortlessly and you whimpered in fear. Pushing through the hazy fog that invaded your brain, you tried again.
"Please, Al, j-just look at me. Wake up a-and look at me. You'll be okay."
"W...-why d-d..id..-.yo...-u co..-m-e... -h..e-re...?"
The blood loss was making you feel faint, and you lifted a bloody hand, desperate to touch him, to reach the man behind the monster. With blurry eyes, you brushed his cheek, his face just near enough your fingertips reached the fizzing skin. It felt like dipping your hand in pure electricity, numbing and painful, but you didn't care.
"Because you a-are scared and h-hurting, and I care about y-you. What f-friend would I be if I l-let you s-suffer alone?"
At your words, his enormous form shivered, and you felt his grip on you loosen ever so slightly. The dials fixed on you were still ticking, but the red of his eyes dimmed. Your other hand came up, slowly, to take the other side of his face.
"Can you wake up for me, Alastor?"
More growling, more shaking.
"Pl-please. Wake up and come b-back to me."
His eyes flicked, the howling static became more hushed and his ears twitched under the forks of his antlers. You took a shuddering breath of relief as the animalistic stare on his face lost its threatening gaze and felt the buzz under your fingers slowly dying down. The sharpness under your hands subsided fully as you saw Alastor shrink back, slowly becoming aware again of his surroundings. The green glow that filled the room flickered and turned into the familiar oranges and reds. You held onto his face and his eyes, not daring to let him go until he had finally settled and transformed back into his regular form, the last clicks of the vanishing dials fading as his irises turned to dim reds once again.
"What happened. Why are you..." The sound of his familiar voice was all you wanted to hear now. As your legs gave away, you didn't fall however, Alastor's slender hands were quick to catch you, his smile confused and irritated. He let his eyes travel down your arms to the wound and pools of crimson surrounding you, and back at your face, now pale.
"What do you think you are doing, dear." he breathed, settling you down slowly on the ground.
"You had a nightmare. The hotel... everything was chaos. I had to come, had to... get you out of it." you stammered, watching him looking around to see the damage, his face warped in realization as he put the pieces together.
"Fuck!"
It was rare to hear the usually so poised and reserved Radio Demon swear, but for this situation you'd agree it was entirely appropriate. But the hotel still stood and he was back, and that was all that mattered. When he took you up in his arms and buried his face in your neck, you felt the more alive than in the whole time on earth.
"You foolish girl. You could've been killed by my hands."
You let him embrace you, his long arms circling around you protectively and his forehead resting on the hollow of your throat.
"But I wasn't." you said simply, smiling weakly into his hair. Your arms felt heavy but they still managed to find their way onto his back, reassuring and tender, letting him know you were fine, mangled maybe, but alive and there. You stayed that way for a moment, both of you unable to move or say something as you found some grounding in each other's warmth and the now peaceful silence.
The quiet was broken, however, when you heard frantic footsteps in the hall outside and the uproarious group of the hotel staff came charging through the opened door, halting when they saw your display. Alastor didn't lift his head, in fact, he didn't move at all. You turned your head, your hand barely leaving his back to give the speechless group a lazy wave.
"Are 'ya ok? I'll kill 'im if 'yer not, I don't give a shi-"
"You were so incredibly brave, oh gosh, look at all this blood. Vaggie, we need to get the first aid kit!"
"I'll get my mop! And a broom, look at the mess!"
"Aye, this fucker really owes you."
"Umm... this is rather... Should we give thossse two a moment?"
"Lo juro por Dios, un día de estos lo voy a matar..."
Through the mass of noise the others made, talking and fussing and scurrying, you heard Alastor's quiet whisper against your bloodied skin, loud and clear.
"Thank you, dearest."
You smiled, closing your eyes and holding him a bit tighter, even if it made your wounded side sting.
"It's okay, Al. What else are friends for?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction#fraugwinskawrites#charlie morningstar#angel dust#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel niffty#hazbin hotel vaggie#sir pentious#angst and fluff#quickfic
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Hazbin Hotel Headcanons!
- Angel decided to join the Hazbin Hotel because of the free room, but also because Charlie reminded him of Molly
- Charlie learnt some spanish from Vaggie and uses it when she wants something... and Vaggie sometimes regrets she taught her XD
- Husk and Alastor are the only ones who know Nifty's backstory
- Sir Pentious didn't immediately understand Charlie and Vaggie were a couple. Then one day he saw them kissing and he was like: "You're together?" and Angel was like: "Wasn't it obvious?", but Charlie immediately explained it everything and then there was a whole conversation about how it was like being queer on Earth when they were alive
- actually Pentious and Cherry just talked during their last night at the hotel and got to know each other better and liked each other more... even if we all know the ending 💔
- same as Husk and Angel. They did one last game of cards and it was the best way to spend what they believed it could be their last night at he hotel
- when Angel notices Alastor is tormenting Husk, he flirts with the demon radio because he understood flirting makes him embarassed and confused so Husk can take a break (obviously Husk loves being defended by Angel, but he is a little tsundere so he only says a simple: "Thank you" even if they're becoming closer day by day)
- Husk and Lucifer became friends due to their dislike for Alastor and noticing his interactions with Angel, Lucifer tries to be the best wing man so they can have what he and Lilith had...
- ... when he drinks to much, he talks about Lilith no stop and Husk knows more than he wants to know (luckily Charlie is never around)
- Lucifer always tries to make Vaggie call him 'dad', but she never does... but she likes to be appreciated by his father in law (besides, being both fallen angels make them bond even more)
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin hotel husk#charlie morningstar#angel dust#alastor#nifty hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#vaggie#sir pentious#cherry bomb#huskerdust#chaggie
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Battleships
Summary: Charlie and Angel are playing a game of Battleships. But not with pen and paper. More like marker pens, and ticklish backs as their papers. Just so happens that these ticklish backs are property of Lucifer and Alastor.
Word Count: 2.3k
Warnings: Tickling, swearing, Angel Dust's unique humour, a bit of depressing talk concerning Alastor's mum (Alastor do be a mama's boy and he big sad) but mostly fluff <3
Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another day in the Hazbin Hotel, and there was a very obvious mood of mischief. Ticklish mischief, to put it much more obviously. There seemed to be tickle fights breaking out every hour between Charlie and Vaggie, Niffty was running round and tormenting whichever unlucky soul was within reach with her feather duster, and even Husk was sneaking in a few underarm tickles whenever Angel Dust was too close to the bar.
It was driving two certain people in the hotel up the wall, but for two very different reasons.
Lucifer was one of the affected. He had woken up craving to be held. Or cuddled. Or tickled. Hell, the king had no idea what he wanted relating to specifics. But damn it, if he didn’t get some form of human touch in the next three minutes, then the world was going to end.
Alastor was the second affected by the ticklish mischief ravaging the halls of this rinky-dink hotel. But Alastor thought this playtime was silly. It’s Hell, who spends their afterlife trying to tickle someone else, where every day was utter torment and suffering punctuated by the wails of the eternally damned and the screams of tortured souls? That was a background noise Alastor preferred, to see lost souls drown in an ocean of failure.
But the radio demon could not dwell on his preferences. He would be busy soon, for that charming Charlie had planned a little board game tournament of sorts in an effort to build trust among the hotel patrons. A silly idea, but Alastor didn’t think there was any benefit to crushing the princess’s feelings, so he kept schtum for now.
The crazy tickling vibes from earlier seemed to have petered out. Yet in the hotel’s lobby, Angel Dust and Charlie were locked in a fierce game of something Charlie called ‘Battleship’. Their hastily drawn paper grids and pencils lay in wait, the pencils pointed at each other like military-grade weapons.
“E6.” came Charlie’s voice. Angel laughed, picking up a blue marker and putting a big ‘X’ on that coordinate.
“Missed again, twinkletoes.” Angel crowed.
“Shit. Your go.” Charlie said, waiting for Angel’s guess. The alluring arachnid sinner thought for a bit, before making his guess.
“A4.” Angel guessed. And if the loud groan from Charlie hinted anything, seems Angel had scored a point, or did something right. Alastor wasn’t quite sure how this game worked.
“Ugh, fuck! Hit.” Charlie groaned, picking up a red marker and blotting it with a crimson ‘X’. Angel pumped one of his many fists in the air, no doubt in a victorious manner, or for a quick bragging right. One of the two.
“Hot damn. I am unbeatable at this game!” the spider crowed, looking much too pleased with himself. Alastor rather thought that this game, while simple, did indeed look a bit fun. Not as fun as actually destroying something, but… close enough. And it wasn’t just the radio demon who had heard this game. Lucifer knew what Battleship was. But he didn’t dare come down, for fear of making his obvious lee mood even more obvious, and the markers Charlie and Angel were both using was sure to drive Lucifer crazy with want.
But the princess and spider sinner had seen the way both had been acting. Lucifer’s shaky and nervous demeanour, compared with Alastor trying to be aloof and uncaring like always in an effort to mask his curiosity at the game they were playing was a rather funny thing to see indeed. And Charlie made this known to Angel, with both setting up for their next game, fresh sheets of paper and newly sharpened pencils at the ready for their grids.
“We should get my dad and Alastor in on this game, Angel. I think they’d enjoy it.” Charlie whispered quietly, the princess barely masking a smile of her own. She wasn’t stupid; she knew the tells of her father in a lee mood, namely because she did mostly the same thing when she was in one herself, from the nervous glances at wiggling hands to refusing to look at anything that could even be vaguely considered as a tickle tool.
“Oh yeah? Good idea, Princess. Your dad would go for it, but how the hell are we going to get Alastor in? Does he even know this game?” Angel asked.
“I think Vaggie and me having all those tickle fights has… kind of made my dad want something similar, if he hasn’t been wanting to be tickled since he woke up. Alastor is always smiling, but he needs a genuine smile. So here’s my plan…” the princess said, highlighting the fun parts, while Angel listened carefully.
“We’re gonna make them our game boards. You and me, Battleships. Red marks for hit, blue marks for miss. I know my dad has a ticklish back. I don’t know for Alastor. I know he’s ticklish, but he would never say where. So let’s have some fun with this.” Charlie giggled. Angel had a hint of mischief in his own mismatched eyes. This was going to be entertaining.
Late afternoon soon gave way to evening, and as the moon came up into the crimson sky of Pride, the pentagram sun descending down for another day’s end, Alastor and Lucifer finally came into the hotel’s game room, seeing paper and pens dotted about. Alastor sent a barely disguised joyful look at Lucifer’s muffled whine, seeing so many markers strewn over the room.
“Ah! There you guys are. We’re just about to get started. Me and Angel are gonna play Battleships.” Charlie explained, gesturing to them both to sit on the floor, which both men did happily. Lucifer watched Charlie draw her grid, while Alastor was on Team Angel, watching the spider scribble his own grid.
“Why do we need to be witnesses for this? This seems just like a two-player duel.” Alastor pointed out. His question did have merit, and Charlie barely concealed a laugh as she quickly screwed her paper up and tackled Lucifer to the floor. Before Alastor could even laugh at the daughter of the king taking down the monarch so fucking easily, a similar weight slammed into the radio demon’s own back. Alastor gasped and fell forward, twisting his head quickly to see what the fuck had happened, only to see Angel’s grinning face above him. Oh, those cheeky little shits.
“Angel, what is the meaning of this?!” Alastor demanded, doing his best to wriggle. But his demands were silenced, because with a brisk snap of Charlie’s slender fingers, golden rope twisted gently around Alastor and Lucifer’s wrists, tugging both pairs of hands up and out of the way.
“Sorry, Smiles. Me and Princess Charlie are gonna play our game of Battleship. You and FancyPants over there get to be our game boards, so yay for you guys~!” Angel explained, a wide smirk on the spider’s features as he took a seat on the back of Alastor’s thighs, Charlie doing the same with her father.
Both Charlie and Angel worked to quickly pull the jacket off each of them, and rolled their shirts up, exposing the skin underneath. Lucifer’s porcelain-white back awaited Charlie, the king already shivering with barely-repressed laughter, and Alastor’s scarred back was presented to Angel.
So many scars, hot damn. Angel traced a couple of the thicker ones absentmindedly, to a choked back snort from Alastor. Well, this was not how the Radio Demon expected the night to go. One could definitely confirm that this was NOT on the bingo card.
“Hah, ya sound like Fat Nuggets.” Angel teased, referencing his beloved pet pig, smirking down at Alastor.
“Oh shut up- Mmph!” Alastor began to demand, but he snapped his mouth shut as he felt the cold tip of a marker gently trace on his back. From what he could feel, Angel seemed to be drawing a grid of sorts. Charlie seemed to be doing the same, and judging from the noises opposite, Lucifer was already giggling and doing his best not to squirm.
“Oh, you got a ticklish back, do ya Smiley? Shit, how the hell are you gonna last this game?” Angel laughed.
“I ahaham gohoing to dehestroy yohohou ahand thehen-!” Alastor threatened, but his threat was cut off by a shrill squeal from Lucifer, and then rapid pounding as the king’s boots hit the floor rapidly, the king giggling freely. Alastor knew his back to be fairly ticklish, but by the sounds of it, Lucifer’s had to be far worse. The thought of that almost made him feel bad for the king. Almost.
Charlie and Angel rested their markers down on each side of their ‘game boards’. Red and blue, one on each side. Both Lucifer and Alastor’s backs were drawn on to mimic a Battleships grid, from letters A to J, and numbers 1 to 10.
“You’re goin’ down, princess.” Angel laughed. Charlie sent a mischief-laced smile back his way to the spider sinner.
“In your dreams, Dust.”
And with the fighting words out of the way, the game officially began. Charlie had the first call, at Angel’s insistence. Or as Angel put it, “Ladies first and all that shit.”
“C3.”
Angel located the spot – at the top left side of Alastor’s back. He poked softly, and pinched a few times. No reaction from the Radio Demon, not even a wobbling smirk. With a disappointed tut, he picked his blue marker and drew an ‘X’ into that spot on Alastor’s back.
“Miss. In return… F2.”
Charlie nodded, finding that spot – top middle of her father’s back, at the top of his spine. She pinched that spot and poked softly. Lucifer gasped and broke into squeaky giggles. Because his hands were tied up, as were Alastor’s, the king nor the radio demon could even dream of moving.
“Hit! Nice, Angel.” Charlie smiled, picking up her red marker and drawing a red ‘X’ into that spot. “My go. Umm… I’ll say H9.”
Angel nodded and looked down at Alastor, noticing the eternal smile now had some kind of nervous look to it. Angel pinched at the annotated spot on Alastor’s back, enjoying the radio demon struggle under the spider.
“Damn, nice shot Princess!” Angel laughed. “Looks like he’s ticklish as fuck here.”
“Angel, I’ll kihihill yohoHOU! Stohohohahap ihihit!” Alastor tittered, squirming side to side. Angel Dust couldn’t help but laugh, grabbing the scruff of Alastor’s collared shirt to avoid being tossed off.
“Jesus, it’s like I’m on one of those bucking bulls in the bars downtown.” Angel joked, steadying himself atop Alastor’s back with a few ruthless side squeezes before the demon could get a chance to throw him off.
“AH! Ahahangel, I’m gohohoing to rihihip yohohour tongue ohohout!”
“Stop laughing first, Smiles.” Angel shot back. “Oh wait. Ya can’t, cause you’re too ticklish~!”
“Alastor, you aren’t in a position to make threats anyway.” Charlie teased, as she awaited Angel’s next guess.
“Let’s go for D1.” the spider guessed. Charlie found the spot quite easily, anyway, unleashing another series of quick fire pokes. Sadly, nothing from Lucifer despite the huge lee mood that plagued the king.
“A-Ah… oh good, I’m okay.” Lucifer whispered, shoving down his smile.
“Missed, Angel.” Charlie said.
“Ah, fuck. Well, if I missed him, I gotta kiss him. Pucker up, Daddy Morningstar~” Angel joked, enjoying Alastor’s muffled snickering and Lucifer’s panicked babbling at that idea.
“I don’t think my mother would appreciate that, Angel.” Charlie laughed, the melody of laughter in the room bringing a huge smile to her face. It was nice to see everyone enjoy themselves. “My go. So let’s try one spot up. H8.”
“Real original.” Angel joked with a playful eye-roll, even as he moved one square up and pinched and poked that spot on Alastor’s back. Alastor couldn’t help it, and a deer’s squeaking noise left his mouth.
“Nice, Charlie. Hit!” Angel announced, drawing a red ‘X’ into that spot on Alastor’s back, which Alastor would argue tickled more than the actual poking bit itself. And the fact that Angel was very slow in drawing the crosses themselves just made everything that much more maddening.
Lucifer and Alastor would never admit it, but both men were actually having some semblance of fun. Lucifer was happy his daughter involved him in this game, even if it was at his expense.
Alastor did enjoy the fun and mischief this place offered. In a way, this was probably something his mother would have done, had they both been still alive. Alastor’s heart ached painfully at the thought she was in Heaven and he couldn’t see her, or talk to her, or to be held in her arms a final time.
By the time this fierce round of Battleships ended, both Lucifer and Alastor’s backs were covered in a plethora of red and blue crosses. Alastor had red dotting both his top and lower back, and blue in the middle.
Lucifer had many more red crosses, and only a smattering of blue marks over his obviously very ticklish back. Both men were panting slightly by the time the game was finally over.
“Well, this was fun.” Charlie smiled. Angel nodded.
“Aw hell yeah, toots. We have to do this again.” Angel smiled.
Alastor was quick to loudly protest. “NO!! Not again, I forbid it and-!”
But a series of skittering fingers along his upper back shut the radio demon down quickly, and Alastor was floored, his normally reserved laughter giving way to squeaky giggling. Oddly adorable.
“Round two, Angel~?” Charlie asked with a smirk. Angel’s mischievous grin clawed its way back onto his face.
“You read my mind, Princess.” Angel responded sweetly, both princess and sinner looking at Lucifer and Alastor with a shared evil grin. And after the necessary cleaning time to wipe the grid off Lucifer and Alastor’s backs (only for the grid to be drawn back on each of them) the laughter from the hotel carried on well into the wee hours of the morning, the battleship duels between Charlie and Angel Dust raging on.
The End!
#rosa writes fics#hazbin tickles#hazbin hotel tickle#lee!lucifer#lee!alastor#ler!charlie#ler!angeldust
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The List ~Pt. 7.5 - Clarity~
Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader
Summary: Written from Alastor's POV, this chapter gives insight of what the Radio Demon is up to during Part 7. Feeling like you (Alastor) are going mad, you makes a visit to your dearest friend leading to a shocking confession to Husker.
Themes: The usual angst, mystery, sassiness, cursing, fluff, actual plot, Rosie is the sweetest, slow burn, poor Husker, and of course 18+
A/N: This part isn't necessarily needed to follow the story however it was fun to do something a little different. I tried writing in Alastor's voice and give a (small) glimpse into his side.
3.6k Words
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A (You're on it!) Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12
**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader/Alastor
This is maddening. You buried yourself in pointless work. Anything to refrain from having to leave your tower and see the others around the hotel, especially her. The foreign ache in your chest only throbbed more at the thought of seeing the hurt in her eyes. Reckless fool! How could I allow her to make me feel such emotions? Almost a hundred years of creating my image and some sinner has the ability to destroy me like this - no - of course not…she was never just some sinner…
Slumping over the scattered paperwork across the desk, you bury your head in your claws. Time was non-existent. Has it been hours? Weeks? Months? No, couldn’t have been that long since you watched her entire being shatter right in front of you. The pain was too much for it to have been that long. This was supposed to just be a partnership, a power grab…How did I end up like this? The radio tower has been your home since she left. You were far too prideful to go back to your room, too afraid of what would happen the moment you caught a whiff of her perfume that surely lingered in every grain of wood and every fiber of your sheets.
A few soft taps at the door pull you from your tormented mind. Quickly standing from the desk, you straighten your shirt and throw on the same suit jacket you’ve worn for who knows how long. I must keep up appearances, no one can suspect anything otherwise.
With a shake of your head, you plaster on the usual smile and open the door to see Charlie and Vaggie. “Hey Al! Just wanted to let you know we are about to head up to Heaven for a few hours. Mind keeping an eye on the hotel while we are gone?” Charlie beamed with an excitement that quite contrasted her partner's uncomfortable scowl.
“Of course my dear! Your hotelier has everything covered.” you chime with a half-hearted bow. Vaggie steps forward, obviously annoyed, “Don’t set anything on fire, don’t destroy any more walls, and please for the hundredth time - keep Nifty out of our room. Last time she tried to throw out all my clothes!” You hum in acknowledgement and follow a concerningly bouncy Charlie down to the lobby where, like clockwork, a portal to Heaven opens. “Common Vaggie! Bye everyone!” Charlie hops through the portal, dragging a less than amused Vaggie behind her.
“Sheesh Smiles, you look like -” Angel starts to say before promptly shutting up and going back to his phone after seeing the glare you shoot towards him. Twirling your cane, you walk over to the bar where Husk tentatively pulls out a glass as if silently asking if you wanted a drink. You wave him off, “No need Husker. I have much to do today and need to be of a clear head.” Yeah right, like I’ve managed a clear head at all lately. “Though I am curious, where is our charming little friend? I heard she had fallen ill.”
Husk shrugs but Angel is quick to chime in, “Oh Charlie sent her to get some things from town and take them to Lucifer. She’ll probably be back soon…as long as Lucifer doesn’t take up too much of her time - if you know what I mean.” Angel mutters the last part seductively with a wink. A fiery rage burns through your veins. How dare he insinuate something so repulsive!? The urge to shred the sinner limb from limb boils over and your eyes flash to him, “It’d be wise to keep such vile comments to yourself spider.” you hiss through gritted teeth. A relaxed smile returns as you regain composure and walk away. Without her around, you figure you’ll have some time to freely move about the hotel, busying yourself with the usual to-dos.
You finish the last of your tasks and begin to head back to the tower when Vaggie and Charlie come flying back through a portal, landing harshly on their backs. Tears flood Charlie’s face. She pulls out her phone to make a call, “Dad, you were right. It was horrible!” she says before hanging up. Within seconds another portal opens within the lobby, this time Lucifer coming through. Of course he has to make a grand appearance.
Your attention snaps back to Charlie in time to see her shove Vaggie away and bolt up the stairs. Now would be a good time to make quite an impression on the girl. You attempt to follow the princess but Lucifer drives his elbow into your side, forcing you into the railing. Every muscle in your face twists in annoyance at the pretentious little “King”. The urge to go after him is quickly snuffed by the feeling of eyes burning into your back.
A glance over your shoulder makes your heart drop into your stomach. There she is, staring into you. Her eyes didn’t have their bright sparkle and she looked utterly exhausted even with all the makeup. Did she always put on so much? No, she hated caking it on. I really did a number on her didn’t I? Her usually bright smile is replaced with a grim look of…Anger? Concern? Pain? You don’t have enough time to read her before Lucifer makes his way back down the stairs.
“She seems to need some time alone.” he announces as he makes his way back over to the shell of a woman standing before you. You watch as he pulls her flush with his body, greedy hands snaking up her sides. He mumbles something before placing his foul lips against her skin and disappearing into red ribbons.
Her face mirrors your feelings of disgust at his touch. Did he force himself on her? I swear if he hurt - You catch yourself stepping towards her. Every ounce of your being longed to wrap her into your arms. Your heart begged to pour yourself into her, to remove every trace of Lucifer from her body. Her gaze meets yours again. You freeze. The pain behind the eyes that stared back at you made your knees nearly buckle. What is wrong with me… With a nod you slink into your shadow. I believe it’s time to visit someone who can help.
It was always a pleasure to be in Rosie’s presence. You can’t quite remember how you met but you knew she was easily your oldest, truest friend here in Hell. Usually you didn’t dally much about romance, her self-proclaimed specialty, but right now you could use any insight she could give.
“Alastor! How I’ve missed seeing that dazzling smile of yours!” Rosie pulls you into her ever smothering hug, “Come along, I was just getting some tea. Tell me, what do I owe the pleasure of such company?”
You remain quiet as you sit at the table to pour two cups of tea, smile faltering just enough to tell her something was very wrong. “Oh darlin’, what’s going on? I can’t recall a time you’ve looked so distressed.” It was strange hearing yourself try to explain these last few months. You’ve always made it a point to be very well spoken, years of broadcasting have ingrained it into your mind. But today you fumbled your words telling Rosie how you wound up in this position - with these…feelings.
“Oh my stars. I never thought this day would come.” She sits back in her chair in astonishment. Your ears perk up at her short response, “What do you mean dear?” Rosie leans back towards you, gently placing a hand atop yours, “Alastor darling, you’re in love!”
An uneasy feeling washes over you. Your hand quickly retracts at the mention of that word. Love? What a ridiculous notion. It’s fruitless…unnecessary…weak…
Her face softens at your doubtful silence, “All of those moments, the desires, even the pain…it’s obvious you’ve fallen head over heels for that gal. She must be quite a charmer to get you this worked up!” she laughs giddily but you’re far from amused at this assumption.
“Rosie dear, I’m not some hopeless romantic. I don't have the time nor the need for such frivolous things.” She frowns at your bitter denial. You can see she’s reeling, trying to find her next words. She stands up and begins pacing the room, still unable to conjure the right response. Your frustration grows as you try to reason with her, “Look, I just need to figure out how to be rid of this. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can barely think without her somehow worming her way into my mind.”
Her dark eyes snap to you, “You admit you want more than just a mutual partnership?”
“Well yes -”
She steps closer to you, “And you crave her presence, her touch, her voice?”
“Always but - “
“Do you desire a future with her and only her?”
Irritated, you try to answer once again, “At one point yes howev-”
“Alastor, do not deny yourself love just because you don’t fully understand it! It is not a weakness - no sir - it’s quite the contrary.”
“Enough!” The table jolts beneath your now balled up fists, “What does it matter!? She loathes me! I set fire to her and burned any trust or feelings she could possibly have for me! I ran her off - straight into that imbecile's arms!” you snarl with a heavy static filling the air.
A gentle hand rests on your shoulder. You look up at Rosie like a remorseful child, “She’d never believe me even if I told her…” you say softly. She squeezes your shoulder before returning to her chair and taking a sip from her cup. “Words are cheap, but actions, they speak for the truth. Don’t allow your pride to get in the way of what you could have.” Her tone turns sharp and concise, “Now, I know you and I know you’re not one to hold onto what ‘could have been’ or fret over past mistakes. But I’m telling you from experience, if you don’t at least try with this girl, you will regret it.” The words drive into you like a hot knife.
A heavy silence falls between you two while a battle rages in your mind. She’s never steered me wrong before, but how can she be so sure? She hasn’t even met this girl and she can already make these incredibly bold assumptions. You finish your tea and stand from the table. Walking over to Rosie’s chair, you bend down to peck her cheek with a quiet, “Thank you.” before stepping into your shadow to return to the hotel.
In the past you’d have a drink or two to celebrate a victory or to get Mimzy off your case about ‘the good old days’, but tonight you wanted to be numb. “Another.” you demand, slamming the glass against the hotel bar.
Husk cautiously pours more into your cup, “Uh boss, you doin’ alright?” Before he can finish his question your glass is empty and pounds the bar again, “Another!” you repeat. Husk couldn’t figure out if he should be amused or scared about your sudden change in demeanor. He pours you more, not daring to say no to the demon who owned his soul so tightly.
You weren’t keeping count of how many drinks you managed to take into your body. Truthfully you didn’t care. The liquor was supposed to make the thoughts stop and numb everything but you found it only amplified with each glass. “Husker…Did - did you see him?” your speech might have been perfect but your mind was definitely beginning to blur.
“See who?” Husk asked nervously looking around, wondering what strange delusions you might be seeing.
You hiccup and laugh at his oblivious reaction, “That King…putting his hands all over her. He’s trying to take what is rightfully mine. He has no business touching her in such ways!” you growl as another hiccup leaves your chest.
“Oh - uh yeah I saw that. She didn’t seem too happy about it either -”
“You’re damn right she wasn’t!” you shout louder than intended.
“Right…” Husk trails off, unsure of how to handle you in this new state of drunken anger, “Look, you don’t have to tell me but you’re definitely drinkin’ to forget something.” he says, trying to tread lightly.
You signal for another drink while shaking your head in response to his question, “My dear Husker I - I think I’ve developed…feelings - “ The sudden sound of a bottle shattering makes you jump out of your chair. Looking over the bar you see Husker frantically cleaning up the bottle he dropped out of pure shock.
He looks up at you, eyes wide with bewilderment, “Fuck sorry, I just thought I heard - feelings? What kind of feelings are we talkin?”
You slam another drink back, “Seeing him with her did something to me. It…hurt…It felt like a knife plunged into my chest.” If you were paying closer attention, you’d hear his snarky retort, “If only it was a real knife….” but you’re too preoccupied inside your own mind. Husk finishes cleaning the floor and leans against the bar, grabbing a new bottle and pouring you another without asking.
Why am I even talking with him? I didn’t think liquor could affect me so much down here. Ignoring instinct, you happily down another without wasting any time. The burn washes over your body and a peculiar sense of clarity suddenly hits, “I love that girl.” you say plainly, without a shimmer of doubt.
Another bottle shatters against the floor along with the glasses Husk was starting to carry to the sink. “Fucking get it together Husker! Do you need gloves or something?! You’re wasting perfectly good rye!!! They would have had your head back in my day for such careless actions!” you shout at the now completely stunned bartender. He stares at you, eyes wider than saucers. Annoyed with the sudden lack of conversation from the demon - It is quite rude of him to just keep staring, I mean really - you slink away into your tower to be left with your thoughts. While you climb the stairs, you don’t bother looking back to see Husk’s mortified face as he mumbles frantically to himself, “What…in the actual fuck…just happened…I need a drink, wait no, I need ten drinks...and where the hell is Angel when you need him!?”
Your buzz begins to fade as you pace your tower, somehow causing everything to hit you tenfold. Rosie was right, I can’t deny this any longer. What am I going to do…hell what can I do? Why is this so hard to -
Three loud knocks reverberate through the tower. You still, not daring to give the person on the other side any clues as to if you were there or not. Please just go away, I don’t have the patience or clear mind for anyone right now. Your shadow tugs violently at your pant leg, signally the urgency of answering the door. You warily turn the knob and focus your eyes on the dimly lit woman in front of you. All the air leaves your lungs.
F-fuck…
Tag List (Let me know if you would like to be added!)
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#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer#alastor x reader#lucifer morningstar#alastor smut#angel dust#hazbin#hazbin hotel x you#alastor x you#slow burn#female reader#fem reader#x reader#reader insert#husk#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel husk#husk hazbin hotel#fanfic#lucifer x reader#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#lucifer hazbin hotel#angst
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Thinking about if Alastor’s twins were like the shining twins…
-freaks everyone out, especially because both never drop their sharp toothed smiles.
-their big eyes stare into your soul.
-something they know a little TOO well because they will stare at whoever just to mess with them.
“Where’s the popsicles?” Charlie hums to herself at the frozen refrigerator.
She hears some giggling behind her, catching both little deer girls with the popsicle box.
“Hey girls! Can I get one of those?”
They both simultaneously stop laughing and instead stare at the woman.
“…”
“Uh..” Charlie repeats her question.
They both continue staring, their smile still on their face as they continue to eat their popsicles. Making no move to give one to the Princess of Hell.
It’s a good minute before Charlie just backs away quietly. Walking away with her feelings hurt for being ignored 🥺 (poor Charlie why did I do her like that 😭)
-they WILL speak in unison because they know how uncomfortable people get.
“We’ve been watching you.” *little giggle* 👹
“I’m not doing this. I’M NOT DOING THIS!” Vaggie exclaims running out of the hotel.
-when there is an option for peace or violence they WILL choose violence.
“Why do you look like that?”
“Like what?” Vox says.
“Like an ugly primbly bitch 👹”
-I could see them both tying up some horrible sinner and giving them a makeover. Alastor catches them and is deeply amused.
“Ladies~ what did mother say about kidnapping sinners from the street?~”
“But father we’d like to play with her.”
“She’d look much better with more eyeshadow.”
“Yes indeed, we are helping her look more pretty. She’s ugly right now.”
The father of two gives them both looks, his smile stretching maliciously at the wayward sinner begging him to save her.
“Hmmm…very well then! Don’t tell your mother!”
“Thank you papa.” Both say.
Both love you dearly.
After a long day of tormenting others and hurting everyone’s self-esteem, you can find them curled up in your lap reading a story for bedtime.
When they’re tired enough, you’ll tuck them in bed and land little smooches on their foreheads.
When you leave them to sleep and they’re sure you’re gone, they’ll open their eyes to stare at one another.
“I’m hungry.”
“Me too.”
“…”
“Let’s eat 👹”
Cue them raiding the kitchen and eating everything 👁️👄👁️
The next day:
“WHY IS THERE NO FOOD?”
*little giggle* 👹
Idk why I like making them unhinged lol
No because I love this too and you know that they would 1000% torment Valentino and Vox.
But when the reader catches them they dropped the act because they don't want to make Ma'ma mad.
The reader make's them apologize to Charlie and Vaggie.
This is just perfection.
#hc#hcs#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel headcanon#dad!alastor
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....lee!Husk () ler!Vaggie and ler!Charlie?
The others come in at some point idk (adorable sight though)
"Need some help there?" Vaggie laughed at seeing the cat sprawled out on the floor.
Husk yelped at the sudden voice before looking up at the exorcist standing at the side side of the bar. The cat's ear flattened in embarrassment and looked away.
The girl shut the door behind her as she approached him. "How did you even manage to get yourself stuck like this?"
"I was doing a little 'Spring Cleaning." He sighed. "I was sweeping under the shelf and the head of the broom broke off. Honestly, we need more cleaning supplies this thing was ancient."
"And you really thought your beefy arms could reach that and not get stuck?"
"Hey, I did get it!" The cat said before flicking the tool out towards the other.
"Good for you, hun." The exorcist noticed her girlfriend walk into the main living space.
"Hey babe, check this out!"
"Oh come on!" Husk whined as Charlie approached the bar. The princess peeked over the counter and shot her girlfriend a confused look.
"Look who got his arm stuck under the counter." Vaggie laughed. "You think we should call the fire department or something?"
Charlie laughed softly at the other. "Aww, poor thing. Does the kitty cat need our help?"
This was beyond humiliating. The cat thought to himself and banged his head on the floor.
"Yes, please." He groaned in defeat.
Charlie hopped over the counter and crouched down to face the two.
"Oh so you do have manners," The princess smiled. "Where was that a few hours ago during our last conversation? What was that you called me again? A shit-faced wannabe?"
Vaggie gasped dramatically. "Husker, how could you?!" The two girls giggled at eachother.
"For the last time, Princess, Hell or not, you're still not old enough to drink." The cat argued.
Said princess rolled her eyes before shooting an evil smile at the other girl.
"Y'know...Angeldust told us something pretty interesting about you the other day~" Charlie began running her fingers along the cat's arm.
Vaggie perked up, realizing where the other was getting at. "Yeah. Let us in on a secret on how to deal with your scrooge ass."
"Would you two just get me out alre-ADY- Hehehehey!-" The bartender squeaked when fingers began wriggling under his trapped arm.
Husk shot an angry look at the smiling princess. "Don't you even think about IT!- AHAHAHA- QUIT!!!" He shouted, squirming when Vaggie began tickling his sides.
The poor cat twisted and turned as he fought to get away from the absolute children who were wrecking his shit right now. He tried flapping his wings viciously to shoo them away. Unfortunately, this only resulted in each of the two pinning one down before attacking them as well.
Husk wished he could've said he kept his composure, but that would've been a damn lie.
"GET OHOHOHOFF!!! GET OHOHOHAHAHAHA-AAAA THIS ISN'T HEHEHELPING!!!!" Husk screamed and thrashed uselessly against his attackers.
Angel walked into the living space at hearing the commotion, followed by Alastor who had poofed himself beside the bar.
"What the absolute Hell are you guys doing-oh?" Angel laughed as he realized what was going on. The two girls looked up at the others, laughing as they got off their victim.
Alastor looked over the counter as well, looking slightly disappointed. "Yes, I heard screams of torment and got quite excited. My mistake."
The cat gulped in air, beyond embarrassed at this point.
"He got himself stuck." Vaggie explained. Angel nearly fell to the floor laughing so hard.
Alastor gave a small chuckle before snapping his fingers and the cat was suddenly poofed out of the bar beside Angel who caught him before he fell.
"Next time, call the fire department." The Radio Demon said before vanishing.
"You ok?" Vaggie asked when Husker had seemed to catch his breath.
The cat just huffed. "You guys are the worst."
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A/N: This was a fun pairing to write. Sorry if this seemed a bit rushed.
#hazbin hotel tickle#sfw tickling community#tickle fic#lee!husk#ler!charlie#ler!vaggie#hazbin hotel tickling#hazbin hotel tickles#writing requests#my stuff
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Alastor hazbin let down
By overhype and a lack of tone setting.
He isn't creepy
Try as they may, the glitchy effects just tell me that this is a quirky character, only most of the cast are quirky in character just not too flashy.
Nobody is particularly menacing, including Alastor who so far has been a bit menacing to a character who isn't going anywhere and unnamed extras who not even Charlie 'everyone is worthy', 'these are my people/family' cared about.
His secrets mean nothing to anyone
Where has he been for seven years? The same absence period of Lilith? Who cares?
What Alastor knows is what the audience and clueless Charlie doesn't, but others do.
All someone else's talk
In the pilot it was Vaggie who let us know who exactly Alastor was and ehat he was capable of, she wanted no part of him around, but nothing to loose, no opinion in the matter Charlie did.
Mimzy in her passing visit told us more about him, she actually bought his character down to earth a little which was actually a good thing, Mimzy let us know that Alastor could be fun, reminded us that he had a whole life, she offered us a time frame of his existence and let us know he has friends/acquaintances/connections.
Though the 'bringing down to earth' negative aspect would happen too this episode, through no doing of Mimzys but entirely of Alastors. Unfortunately Alastor appears to have cut off Mimzy as a friend, leaving him with a shorter reach.
Any other reputable character steals his spotlight
Alastair was outshone by Mimzy, who literally interpreted his song baiting the actual devil. In this episode he showed that he wasn't all too composed when not in control of the situation or when outclassed, his attitude to Lucifer case in point, who he can't possibly topple any time soon in any way. All would be fine if we got to see what he did about it when he had time to himself or what he would do when things escalated, a missed opportunity being in the last episode he would lose to Adam, which was great, Alastor gave off overconfidence and lack of interest as usual, but by now we have seen how much he wishes to insert himself among those higher, only for him to treat Adam like a nobody - how did he feel about the looming danger he was in and not being in the same ballpark as someone who felt confident enough to challenge? Who knows, he as good as drifted away like piss in the ocean.
We didn't learn of any particular interest or reason for lack of in Adam, for someone who does so much research.
Between these encounters, Rosie too managed to stand out more than him as his confidant who successfully run an operation, had a clear goal, seemed unconditionally helpful, a people person and got through to Charlie with nice enough advice and a ear to listen.
He struggles to keep up an act, something that's not utilized at all when it could be
Being overactive to Lucifer, showing dislike for no apparent reason and dropping the bomb seems like it was meant to get a laugh out of the audience, only for Alastor to go on to continue tormenting Charlie's dad and to build a rivalry. If a rivalry was the intention then the usual composed attitude would have fit. If there's a reason for a hatred he struggles to contain, it's a shame the time wasn't made to delve into this.
Significant characters could have done with more time in general honesty.
In other media we have Good omens had composed and sweet angel Azraphale drop an unexpected but very understandable fbomb (which may have been the first of the series) when he accidentally lost his body of 6000 years. There was a build up of the looming end of the world, years of preventative work going to waste, nobody listening and a pest in his home.
HH really missed a beat in having a character like Alastor first snap for no particular reason.
In other media, Durarara did excellent at deconstructing and humbling an unbothered and mysterious troll character, this being Izaya. In this supernatural series he would manage to stand out and consistently be a strong villain/antihero, managing to not become lesser dispite going from a menace holding a number of cards who claimed to love humans, to being proven to be a human with the introduction of his sisters, his very uncomplex backstory and generally getting dealt with by the series's most illusive gangsters.
Coherence could make things work, hopefully there's less going on next time and the ensemble cast can be dispersed out a bit better.
Better luck next time Alastor
#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel critical#good omens#durarara#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel fandom#character comparison
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An Overlord's Tail - Chapter 1
An Overlords Tail Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10
Summary: Alastor X reader, F/M. You are new to the hotel staff working under Alastor. He spends his days pestering and tormenting you. But that pestering turns into a competition, one you want to win. Can you get the upper hand? Are you getting too close to him? Warnings: No real warnings for this chapter, just Alastor being a dick. This story is 18+, minors can fuck right off.
Other Notes: Thanks @sailorsmouth for the doodle and encouragement!
Darby Link Tree
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Chapter 1: A New Start
It had been three months since you walked out of your job at VoxTek and you were starting to get desperate. Without work to focus on, everything else felt so much harder. You had nothing but stress to distract you and it wasn’t enough. You pushed your self-loathing to the side.
You rushed out the door, wanting to get to the interview early. The last interview you had went poorly. Perhaps it was the interviewer, or maybe it was the fact that you were covered by entrails from an incident out front. Hell is a wild place, expect the unexpected. But you were set, nothing was going to ruin this. You adjusted your plastic poncho, surprise bodily fluids or parts were going to get you today. The joke, per usual, was on you. You should have also worn rain boots you thought, as a large gush of blood filled your shoes. You groaned. Watching the still-gushing corpse being dragged down the alleyway next to you.
The cafe door's bell dinged as you walked in, pulling off the poncho. Despite pouring your shoes out on the curb, they still made a soggy squish as you walked. The cafe was pretty empty except for one person sitting at a table. You froze. No way, you thought, that can't be who I'm meeting
Vaggie sat nervously at the booth waiting. She had lost track of how many interviews she had gone through for this position. She had hired eight people so far and none of them had lasted longer than a week. Why did Alastor have to be such a pain in the ass? The hotel needed help, since the last extermination and the elimination of Adam, sinners started to accept the hotel. Their residency numbers had shifted dramatically and more staff was needed to keep things running. But for whatever reason, the one position that needed to be filled was constantly challenged by the person Vaggie was trying to help in the first place. Vaggie looked up and waved at you, you hesitantly approached the table.
"Hi! So nice to meet you!" Vaggie got up and shook your hand. You both sat down. Typical interview discussions ensued, past experience, general information about the hotel, etc. You could see that Vaggie was eager, maybe a little stressed.
"So.. what exactly is my job position?" you asked.
"Well.... there's a lot of miscellaneous work that needs to be done until we figure out a better workflow for the hotel while it goes through these changes. But for the most part you'll uh..." her tone became painful. " Be assisting Alastor...." Your facial expression dropped to concern.
"That's uh, a hell of a job..." you said.
"Well...." Vaggie's teeth were gritting together, knowing she needed to be upfront about the position. "...based on your resume, I think you are the most qualified person so far. And the pay is great! It kinda has to be at this point.” She sighed “Look, we’re getting desperate."
Oh, you were qualified alright, six years at VoxTek putting up with the most insane bullshit you could imagine. If it wasn't Velvette being an absolute cunt, it was Valentino being a fucking nightmare, Vox surprisingly was the least painful to work with. Which is why you ended up in the position you did. He eventually made you his assistant, to keep you convenient and close. And frankly, if you could put up with Vox's boo hoo "Alastor doesn't love me" baby bullshit, how hard could this job be? At best, Alastor doesn't like you and you keep looking for jobs. At worst... you die a terrible and painful death. At least then the job worry wouldn't be a concern anymore. Fuck it, you thought.
"Yeah, I do see your point." you sighed. "Alright."
"Can you start tomorrow?" she asked eagerly
They had offered you a room at the hotel. You felt it best to endure the trial period Alastor seemed to be implementing before you gave up your crummy apartment. You laid in bed both excited and dreading tomorrow. Vox was going to lose his shit, you thought. You knew WAY too much about his personal life concerning Alastor and there was nothing in Heaven or Hell that would convince Vox you weren't doing this just to hurt him. But that was his problem. In honesty, it was the last place you wanted to work. You wanted so badly to be free of your current situation. Let things go and move on. You hoped this wouldn't blow up in your face. But most things did, it was Hell after all.
You woke early, the Hotel was a good distance from your apartment. You took a cab to be safe on time. You didn't bother with the poncho, Alastor struck you as someone who would enjoy you being uncomfortable covered in drying sticky blood. The lobby was large, you hadn't been to the Hotel before and you didn't know what to expect but you found yourself impressed. Most of Vox’s footage was from the outside of the hotel.
Vaggie waved you down and welcomed you. Introduced you to the staff one by one. Charlie was thrilled to meet you. But you got the feeling she felt that way about anyone and anything. Vaggie went over the floor plan of the hotel, kitchen, dining room, and so on. You scribbled away on a notepad. Sounded like the dress code was relaxed here, you felt relief. Vox always made you wear these business suit-like outfits that surely came from Val's studio, they were so tight and short. You didn't mind at the time, it made your unprofessional activities much easier, but the idea of wearing your own clothes sounded nice.
"Here is your desk. You'll be using the computer to log complaints from the guests, ordering supplies, typical stuff." She looked down to see a shattered computer screen. "UGHHH pendejo! I recommend saving a backup copy of everything you do, Alastor is still protesting the use of the computer and keeps destroying it." It didn't surprise you, you knew for a fact Vox spends all his free time spying on the Hotel. And any electronic device was an in for him. "ALASTOR!!!!" She yelled.
"No need to shout" Alastor was right next to her. She jumped.
"Stop doing shit like this!" she pointed to the computer. "You are sabotaging the hotel!"
"I'm doing no such thing." He looked at his nails, uninterested.
"Uuugghhhhh! .. Whatever." Vaggie pinched her fingers between her eyes and collected herself. She took a deep breath. "Alastor, this is ---" She was cut off by the sound of Charlie calling for her, tears gushing from her eyes. "Shit. Sorry! I'll be right back!" She gave you a look of concern, and you gave her a reassuring nod, letting her know you'd be fine without her.
"I assume you are the new replacement." Alastor said flatly.
"And hopefully the last." you said cheerily.
"Mmm. Hope. So fun to destroy!" he spun his microphone. "Very well then. Follow me."
You followed him through the hotel as he listed item after item that needed to be done. You scratched away at your notepad. He was clearly trying to overwhelm you, it didn't however. It felt similar to the days that you assisted Velvette. Constant list of demands that were consistently changing without notice.
"Actually, Alastor sir, there's something I'd like to discuss before we go any further. If that's alright?"
He leaned towards you, head tilted. "And what might that be, my dear?"
"One of the reasons Vaggie thought I would be a good fit for this position is my previous experience."
"I'm afraid I haven't looked at your resume, inlighten me, will you?"
"Well.." It was awkward and somewhat painful to say, but you knew it needed to be done. "For the last six years I've been employed at V Tower, the last three years I was Vox's personal assistant." You had previously been very confident up until this point, but this was uncomfortable. "I figured it was best to tell you right away, rather than you finding out later. I didn't want it to look like I was hiding something."
"Hmm. Very wise of you. Why pursue new employment?"
"There were a lot of reasons. But my relationship with Vox had become... unprofessional." You pushed the image of Vox fucking you on his desk back down into the pit it came up from. "He's pushy and controlling, both as a boss and... whatever else we were. Always wanting more, pushing boundaries constantly. But bottom line, he broke my trust.”
Alastor knew exactly what you meant. Vox had constantly pushed for more from Alastor. And being set in his ways, Alastor often felt like he and Vox were sheets of sandpaper slowly wearing away at each other. He of course didn't tell you any of this, there he remained with his unnerving smile.
"Hmm." He leaned in closer to you and placed the tip of his claw under your chin, tilting your head to an uncomfortable angle. "Quite a dangerous move, switching sides like this." Alastor was a bit taller than you, but right now it felt like he towered over you, you knew he was trying to intimidate you. Radio static hissed in your ears. You stood your ground, staring into his deep eyes. Eyes that felt like dark endless pits. He snapped back to his smiling self, straightening up. "Well, enduring those buffoons, maybe you will last longer than the others!" He chuckled. "I do however appreciate the disclosure. Come, come." You took an exhale of relief and followed. You hoped this information would make you more valuable in the long run.
You knew a lot, more than you should, about the inner workings of VoxTek. Vox was arrogant, he liked to boast. Showing you the newest upgrades that haven't been released, all the ways he spied on the city. One thing in particular, you savored. He left you alone in his penthouse once, you weren't snooping per se, but tucked away was a small ..shrine? For lack of a better word. Where Vox kept all his trinkets and photos from when he and Alastor were "friends". You felt, should the need call for it, you could be very helpful to the Hotel if Vox became a bigger threat. Though guilt did run through you, despite the bad parts, you missed Vox. A lot of those things were told to you in confidence. And you didn't have any intention of sharing them unless Vox forced you to. You knew it was only a matter of time before he got wind of your new job. And no doubt in your mind, Vox would indeed be a personal problem.
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The days following would be a struggle, Alastor wanted his coffee and paper by 7 AM. The hotel was at least a forty-five-minute walk and you didn't have much left in your account to pay for a cab. A room at the hotel sounded more and more appealing. Entering the gates you picked up the paper, putting it under your arm. You set your bag down at your desk and headed to the kitchen. Pulling out your notepad, you flipped to the page where you wrote down instructions on how to make Alastor's coffee the way he liked it. Hopefully, he wasn't the type to throw it at you if it wasn't right. Velevette threw her coffee at you once, burning your arm. You were ready to make some new memories that didn't involve the trauma endured by the V's.
Coffee, cloth napkins, and paper were placed on a tray. You contemplated folding the napkin like a swan but decided against it. It was a silly thought, and you didn't want to come off as trying too hard, even though that was what he set you up for, to try hard and fail. You tapped your nails against the tray as the elevator ascended up to Alastor's room. It was 6:58 AM. You stood outside his door watching the clock. Only at 7 AM, on the dot, did you set the tray down in front of his door. Alastor was sitting in his chair reading, ready to scold you for being early and found himself slightly impressed. Getting rid of you the typical way might be harder than he thought. All the others were so easy to frighten. But if there was anything Alastor loved, it was a challenge. He had been bored out of his mind playing this hotel game. Unable to leave and pursue more interesting ventures. And the rest of the core group of hotel residents were getting annoyed with his antics. Maybe you could entertain him for a little while. Surely there had to be something that would break you. He waited for the elevator to descend before retrieving the tray.
You snuck into the kitchen to make yourself some coffee, before anyone came in to make breakfast. You made yourself at home at your desk. The drawers were a mess from the previous employees. You sipped your coffee and organized your papers. Looking over previous orders for supplies and food, trying to get an idea of how much the hotel goes through monthly.
"Why good morning!" Alastor said, suddenly at your side, bent over, his face a bit too close to yours. You tried your best not to jump, you had a feeling that would be happening often. "At your desk already? Don't you want to join your new comrades at the breakfast table? Hmm?"
"Good morning to you too sir. No, not today. Until I have a full understanding of my schedule, I don't want to add anything unnecessary to my plate."
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, as they say."
"I'm pretty sure that's a con cereal companies used to sell sugar to children." Alastor held in a laugh. "Coffee is fine for now. Speaking of-" You looked up at him. "How was your coffee this morning? Did I make it correctly?"
"It was passable I suppose." It was the best he could do without lying and without giving you praise. "There are some errands I need to be done." He handed you a list. Skimming over it, it seemed doable to get done by the end of the day. "I want it done by noon."
"...noon?!" It was already 9 AM, here it was, an impossible task. Setting you up to fail. Maybe you could use some of your third-party contacts from VoxTek? "Alright.. I'll see what I-"
You were both suddenly interrupted by the boisterous sounds coming from the dining room. Leaning forward over your desk, you could see Charlie was singing.
"Hmm. Glad I skipped breakfast...." you said flatly. You didn't see it but Alastor smirked.
The tasks given proved to be a bit difficult. All things Alastor could have easily done himself, but where was the fun in that? You did take advantage of some of your previous contacts, which helped immensely. You took care of a few calls before heading to the city. Most of the errands were pick-ups and drop-offs. One task, in particular, you'd have to call in a favor for. Meanwhile, Alastor was eavesdropping, hoping to see you struggle and stress.
"Frankie, listen, if this order isn't here by noon, I will personally come down there, pull your intestines out your asshole, and festoon them along the fence of this establishment. Do you understand?" Frankie babbled in your ear. "Great, I'm so glad we could come to an agreement. As always, a pleasure to work with you."
Alastor couldn't help but have a genuine smile on his face, he wouldn't admit it, but he liked how you got things done. Threatening someone in such a creative way delighted him.
You hoofed it around the city for hours, practically running from destination to destination. You were exhausted and sweaty when you arrived back at the hotel. It was a few minutes before noon, just in time to see Frankie's delivery truck be unloaded.
"In the kitchen, please. Thanks, fellas!" You yelled to them.
Your arms were full as you dumped everything on your desk. Gently folding Alastor's dry cleaning over your chair, stacking some of the items. Including a few books. How does this help the hotel? You thought. Hoping these kinds of tasks would end once Alastor was bored with you.
"Well- color me impressed. All with five minutes to spare!" Alastor appeared in front of your desk. "Though it does seem like something is missing. That's too bad. I had such high hopes for you, dear."
You gave him the biggest shit-eating grin you could muster and pointed at the two men coming through the door hauling a freshly slaughtered deer to the kitchen. If you weren't already intensely looking at him you would have missed Alastor's eye twitch. Someone might as well handed you a trophy. It took everything in you to not showboat as you followed the delivery men into the kitchen.
The deer was laid on the large island in the middle of the kitchen. You signed their papers and the men were gone. Alastor, suddenly in an apron, was ready to go. A black tentacle sliced its head off with a sharp crack.
"Hold this."
He handed you the head. You held it by the antlers, dripping blood onto the floor by your feet. You stood there for a while, watching Alastor prepare. Realizing that he didn't need your help, this was just another task to pain you. The head was heavy and your arms were getting tired. As you adjusted, trying to give your arms a break, you felt the antlers texture in your hands, it reminded you of a gaudy hotel in Montana your parents took you to in the summer of '92.
"If you do this often, which I get the feeling you do- you could save the antlers and make a chandelier. It would look good by the bar."
"Hmmm." Alastor glanced at you as he removed the skin. It wasn't a bad idea, however, he could just make one just like he made the bar itself. But an opportunity was found. "Very well then." He snapped his fingers and the head fell off the antlers. Landing on your feet with a splat. Filling your shoes with coagulating blood.
You groaned. What the fuck, were these shoes cursed? Blood squished between your toes. The sensory overload made you want to scream. You swallowed it down. Instead, letting out a loud sigh. You sat the antlers down on the counter and picked up the head. Alastor couldn't help but to cackle.
"So glad you are amused." You said flatly.
"Oh indeed I am."
In truth, he was. But also disappointed. He didn't get so much as a yelp out of you. A measly groan? He was losing his touch. But the clear discomfort the drying blood in your shoes provided would have to be enough. At this point, the head you clutched to your chest was dripping down your front. You greatly regretted wearing a skirt today. Alastor watched the blood drip down your legs from the corner of his eye. Pooling further in your shoes.
You stood there for what felt like ages. How long did it take to gut a deer? He couldn't be using the whole thing, could he? What was he even making? You got tired of standing and hopped on the counter, hugging the head now in your lap. You were already covered in blood, it didn’t really matter now that the base of the severed head was soaking into your lap. Thankful your skirt was at least black. Alastor would have to try harder than this to drive you out. He’d previously been relying too heavily on his reputation and the fear people felt from his presence. He would have to get more creative with you, how fun.
"Hiiiiiii guuuuuuuys!" Charlie popped her head into the kitchen, breaking your concentration. "There is a short group activity we are about to do! Would you like to join us? " She glances at you, then at the glob of sticky at your feet. "Mayyyybeee we could get you some slippers...? Alastor?"
"You may go." You’d rather hold the deer, but you weren’t about to let him know that.
You dropped the head in the sink with a thud and a squelch. Alastor smirked, enjoying the squishing sound your shoes made as you walked away. You were grateful to have clean feet and warm slippers. But the short group activity wasn't short at all. It had been several hours at this point and the deer head didn't seem so bad now. You sat slumped in a chair, waiting for your turn to share your “feelings”. Charlie had sung two songs now, she was a lovely person but this activity was making you want to claw your eyes out. You sat up straight when you saw the kitchen door open, pretending to be engaged in the activity. God forbid Alastor to catch on that this was torment for you, he’d end up signing you up for every activity Charlie came up with.
The rest of the day was filled with busy work. By the time 5 PM rolled around you were exhausted. You grabbed your jacket and purse, heading out the front door. By the time you got home, you felt like you were going to collapse. Just get through this week, you thought, things will level out after that. You trudged up the four flights of stairs and as you approached your apartment you noticed a note on your door. EVICTION NOTICE in bold print. You ripped it off the door and crumpled it in your hand.
Great.
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Hi, sorry for bothering you and feel completely free not to answer this if you don't want to or aren't interested in it anymore, but I just really like your Devil's Carnival AU and I'd love to know more about it so dropping some questions here 👀 sorry if they're too many!
1. How do you imagine Charlie's and Vaggie's relationship developing? They obviously meet in "After the fall", right after Vaggie's fall from grace, but when did they start dating? How did it happen? Since in canon one of the things Vaggie loves about Charlie is her kindness and compassion towards sinners, how does that translate into this AU, where Charlie is less sunshine-y?
2. Does your idea involve Lute being more like Cora or like the Agent? With this I mean whether she has feelings for Vaggie which she hides because they're "inappropriate and illegal" or if she's courting Vaggie because Adam asked her to as a way to expose Vaggie while she's internally praying for her not to do something stupid and prove Adam right. I think you kind of explained it already in your other post but I didn't fully get it 🥲
3. Slightly related to the previous one but how does Vaggie fall? Is it for the same reasons as June?
4. Have you thought of roles for characters like Husk, Alastor or Niffty?
5. What do you think would happen in this AU in a hypothetical 3rd movie?
Your art style is so beautiful btw! You're such a talented artist :)
You are literally doing the opposite of bothering me don't worry I got so excited seeing this ask in my inbox you have no idea fsgsghskbds i have everything under read more bc it turned out long but thank you so much for the compliment on my art and also for this ask !!!
1:
More or less vaggie and charlie getting together is closer to how it happened in hazbin hotel since i feel like part of it is the similarities of vaggie meeting charlie immediately after her fall and charlie still being kind and helping her which is the start of their connection, and overtime they grow closer and end up falling in love. I do like to think it did take them a while to get together but it was over the course of getting to know one another and their passions/dreams/ect that they began to truly understand who the other was and fall for them.
A little side note off of that which is relevant to understanding a less sunshiny charlie and how it translates to chaggie; with this particular role for charlie it has her mirroring aspects of both of her parents by design, but her character motivations are still very rooted in the fact that she is kind and believes in the good of sinners, heaven has just pushed her too far. Like even tho she's technically fulfilling lucifer's role from the devil's carnival, in doing so she's bearing more similarities to lilith's role in hell in hazbin in that she empowers sinners with her voice (in this case particularly any who've fallen from heaven since it seems like in the devil's carnival this was an occurrence that happened multiple times). And that kind of motivates her disdain for heaven to see how easily they cast out those who don't live up to their standards + with the obvious hypocrisy in how adam acts it makes her more disillusioned with the whole system altogether that heaven stands for and perpetuates (like lucifer hazbin hotel), which is what results in her saying 'fuck it' and just send sinners up there.
originally i was thinking the first movie didn't quite fit for charlie in lucifer's role because it does seem kind of cruel the way the sinners are tormented and it felt like it deviated from charlie's character, but i changed my mind after seeing the second bc i think it could read as a misguided attempt at redemption playing by heaven's rules of shunning what's perceived as sin (which we do see charlie try to do in the actual show) rather than her more trust exercises/team building route she goes for in hazbin. Like for charlie i think she'd genuinely think she's helping to try and get each of them to realize what sin they've committed for redemption's sake but hits her breaking point with heaven by the end. Probably from a mix of not fully believing some of the sins committed warrant eternal damnation (I feel like angel in particular with this one is especially sad because its unclear whether or not tamara ever does get sent to heaven/redeemed?) and being pissed at how hypocritical adam is by engaging in the same sins he's damning people to hell for. Charlie sending trains of sinners up isnt just a passive aggressive thing to do to heaven to shun her role as their torturer but also a statement that sinners and winners are one in the same-like she's completely giving up on trying for redemption within heaven's rules and just showing them that if they continue with this hypocrisy and cruelty, redemption is unnecessary bc these sinners fit right in as flawed as they are. I think this would also make Adam's damage control before 'bells of black sunday' especially insulting to charlie as well.
And vaggie sees that compassion in charlie when they first meet and she is kind to her in her lowest point, but realizes how much deeper it goes the more they get to know one another. In this AU also charlie knew from the beginning that vaggie was a former exorcist, but finding out why she fell was probably something that happened later on. (I do think the idea of them first starting to spend more time together by reading Aesop's fables to one another would be really cute too, like charlie likely reads stories to most new sinners to help with the transition to hell but vaggie shows so much genuine interest that it becomes a routine for them)
(Another side note; I think a scene in the actual film which supports a well intentioned charlie and works well for her character is the one with the devil and the ticket keeper towards the end of the second movie when the ticket keeper confronts lucifer about his plan. Like its vox yelling at charlie that heaven will try to fuck them up because of what she's doing, and him saying that he is the one who'll be standing on the tracks to push her out of the way, but charlie getting angry at this and saying she would never let him do that and that she will be on the tracks with him, and then she tells him her plan finally. I think this scene works well because it not only shows charlie's devotion to her ideas and to those she cares about, but also the disconnect between her intentions and her actions that could allow for the first movie's plot of torturing sinners to be born out of a want to help them. Because in this case she does have a well thought out plan and everything is done with intent, but vaggie is the only one who really knows this so to vox it seems like shes being reckless and impulsive due to how she's been acting, and heaven also isn't really understanding the message in the way she wanted.)
2:
With Lute and vaggie i think i have a clearer idea of what's going on now than when i first made the post in summary because i think lutes role is dependent on if we're talking in the plot or if we're talking in relation to vaggie. I think adam probably still wanted her to get closer to Vaggie and prove she wasn't worthy of heaven/it was a test of loyalty for lute to betray her but the feelings between them that developed were ones that Lute definitely deemed to be 'inappropriate and illegal'. I think they probably could have had their romantic moments between them still in secret but after getting found out and confronted by the watchword Lute realized because she had fallen for vaggie she was resigned to letting vaggie fall so she wouldn't have to deal with the fact that she loved her or get caught having a secret relationship with her. Like externally they present similarly to the agent and june with their respective roles in the narrative, but in terms of who they are to one another it's was closer to what cora and june had going on.
With their plot as well I feel like some of the heaven caste system needs to be examined/adjusted so it better fits them, but I haven't had the time to dig into it as it exists in the film enough that I feel comfortable deconstructing and reconstructing it just yet. Definitely working on it though !
3:
And going off of this I think when vaggie fell Lute took the opportunity to make it look like she had acted calculated and callously this whole time as to maintain adam's respect as well as prove her loyalty, when in reality that was very much not the case and she did really care for vaggie at one point but forced herself to hate her because of what loving her would mean. I also think vaggie's fall would be something tied to kindness rather than ambition because it follows more closely to what happened in hazbin and also would probably endear her to charlie more when she finds out (and make her angrier at heaven), but Im also not 100% sure what that would look like in terms of how it plays out in the film.
4:
So I have thought a bit of nifty/alastor/husk though they are more unsure in who they'd be. I am kind of stuck on the idea of Alastor as the publicist in his more positive sense because I think it fits and i think it'd be cool to incorporate more physical radio aspects into his design in the same way that the publicist has the horn attached at his ear (plus mimzy can be there too as one of the songbirds). I do also like the idea of him playing the role of the watchword to some extent (just keeping it solely to radio) bc he loves drama. Partly because I think it fits to let him be in heaven but still be an absolute menace to the general public, and partly because i think its funny to keep Al and Vox separated like toddlers who will start a fight with one another if left alone for too long. I had thought about having vox as the watchword and alastor as the publicist, but I kind of like the 'charlie works with the vees' plot a bit too much to separate vox from them. With Husk and Niffty I go back and forth on who they'd play, partly bc when i was originally brainstorming this au with a friend we thought husk could be the hobo clown but that was also when we were thinking Alastor as Lucifer's role instead of charlie (and this was before I had watched the second movie so the cast overall was very different) so im not entirely sure. If we're going with carnie roles for them i think husk as the hobo clown or the magician i can live with and niffty as one of the bayonets maybe. But having Alastor in heaven kind of throws off the dynamic so im unsure fully where to put them.
5:
The idea of what would happen in a third movie is SO INTERESTING and I hadn't even thought about it. I think part of this AU deviates from the movie to be more chaggie focussed so I imagine a third movie could focus more on their relationship as well, maybe even delving into them bonding over their shared plan to overthrow heaven and we'd get to see that development of the plan/their relationship in the flashbacks with the present being them actually enacting their plan. Like they are a power couple and share each other's passion, and theyre really the only 2 who actually know what the plan is. I think by this point vox would have been told the plan by charlie in the previous movie so he would have to also help get the carnies organized and on board. There'd also have to be some scenes in heaven with Adam losing it as his control of heaven falters, plus finding out whats going on with the sinners sent to heaven. Really theres just a ton of possibilities since the actual third movie was never made.
#This whole AU kind of started because I was listening to 'grace for sale' and was like 'There has got to be a way this works with hazbin'#and that spiralled into talking with a friend about it until we figured bits and pieces out#and then I watched the second movie and at that point was like 'ok wait hold on a second-'#and then it was just an excuse to redraw screenshots from the movie since im obsessed with the way they do lighting#but it spiralled into a full blown au bc i have brainrot#and I will forever be tweaking it and analyzing it now bc its so fun and the more i talk to others about it the more developed it gets#its lasting as long as this special interest lasts which based on my track record will be comically long#also tumblr user chaggiehearts i hope you know i read and cherish all of the tags you put on the art when you reblogged it and part of this#ask was easy to answer bc i had already typed up some of the responses to what you put in the tags to message you about acuacjcfj#so if you'd ever want to discuss more my DMs are always open asfjidcfjn#the devil's carnival au#the devils carnival#hazbin hotel#chaggie#fallenwings
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Arrax here with more Vox/Lucifer bestie AU (also you can use any of this at any time btw =3) (also, though this sounds Vox/Lucifer it is NOT. Lucifer is just extremely possessive of his friends. He doesn't have many. Well he has one. So. Yeah. Just don't tell Al, I wanna keep him guessing. Lol)
So a few days afterward the broadcast where Vox's death comes out, Lucifer shows up at the Vee tower, excited. Apparently he's been invited to the hotel for a dinner and game night with everyone. Which would be fine, except Lucifer overheard Char-char tell Maggie--"It's Vaggie, Luc, or Vagatha if you prefer." Vox murmurs as he works. That's it's partnered and he'd be partnered to either one of the residents or Mammon who's visiting. "Charlie wants you to bring Mammon to the Hotel?" Vox asks, fully turning away from his work eyes wide. "Really, Luc?"
Lucifer shakes his head. "To her the sins are just her fun loving Aunt(s) and Uncles. She doesn't know how most of them feel about sinners. Especially how Mammon feels about sinners--so you see my dilemma. Mammon would take Alcaster's--"Alastor's, Luc,"--general, uh... whateverness as an invitation to kill Every sinner in the hotel, no matter what Char-char feels. He'll just think money or gifts could rebuy her love."
Vox winces. "Damn, Luc...your brother's a bit fucked up." "He landed on his head after The Fall, and Hell just encouraged his vices. If it was Bee who was visiting I wouldn't be ask you this, but...can you please come with me? It's not a formal dinner--we'll be eating take-away while playing games, just like we do while we play video games or read at the palace! It'll be just like our regular Friday nights and entire Saturdays!" Lucifer says, grinning happily. Neither notice two glowing eyes with a smile that widen with *RAGE* upon spotting Lucifer with Vox.
Vix snorts. "Except for the last six Saturdays we've been going upstairs to the human realm and tormenting humans--we even convinced two guys they'd been abducted by aliens-" "No anal probing! You can do anything else, but no anal probing!" Lucifer smirked interrupting his best friend. "Is that why you turned them into ducks? And, sure I'll come. It'll be good to get away from Vel for a bit. She's been a bit upset about the loss of Valentino. "
"Do I really need a reason to turn anything into ducks? But yes, it was. They've settled in nicely at the university pond we left them at...." *he cocks his head at the mention of Valentino.* "Ah, yes! As a thank you for that--" *he purrs, voice rich with power and sin*--he leans forward, demon form coming out and kisses Vox directly on the mouth.
Vox's eyes widen, before he feels it: undeniable power flowing through him, and not something he could only use once--it was something that would permanently be a part of him. He could feel it burning into his circuits, into his Cyan blood and wires. He feels the hidden spines that line his spine slide out, sparks sliding from the top one from his neck down to the largest one that emerges right before the curve of his ass. He feels his body itch, his claws burn as this new power settles into him, and he pants.
Lucifer pulls away, a dark grin on his face. "Now no Sinner or exorcist can dare take you--YOUR hard work from you. My friend, Voxtech will never fall. Should that Velottie leave, you can do it without her. " He purrs, gently rubbing Vox's shoulder a dark possessiveness in his eyes.
Neither see the glowing red eyes and smile that disappear afterwards, but both notice Vox's radio burst to life, Alastor's voice more unhinged then usual.
arrax youre killing me here. youre killing me im dead and deceased bury me face down or else ill dig myself out of my grave and reanimate myself solely to watch for the next installation of your own little au in my inbox
i genuinely cant even think of anything to add onto this. i usually try to add on a bit more to your guys' thoughts but im actually speechless this time what the fuck am i supposed to say to this. this is probably how contemporary artists felt beholding the work of michelangelo for the first time. i mean like. fucking hell man what do you expect me to do with this i am but a little guy....... this is like dropping shakespeares completed play trilogys in front of my face and asking what id add onto it
#ran rambles#hazbin hotel#general asks#lucifer/vox bestie au#i keep telling you you guys think i am smarter than i am. i am most certainly not#its like handing a toddler paintbrushes and guiding them to the sistine chapel to ask them to paint on#What the fuck am i supposed to add to this except my general astonishment#youre all too talented why are you writing in my inbox you should be on ao3 (<- read like you would read 'she should be at the club')
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New Fanfic Idea
For a little bit, I had an idea for a crossover between VivziePop's Hellaverse and Hamish Steele's DeadEndia/Dead End series.
The setting is sort of a blend of the settings of both series, Earth, Heaven, and Hell being divided up into different Planes, with Earth being the middle "Neutral Plane". There are 19 Planes total, 7 of the Lower Planes being named after the Seven Deadly Sins, and 7 of the Upper Planes being named after the Seven Heavenly Virtues. Divinity, the topmost Plane, is where the Divine, the beings in charge of all of the Planes and everything on them, reside, and Tartarus, the bottommost Plane, is where the Planes' most evil souls go to be tormented for eternity. The two Planes directly above and below Earth are Purgatory and Limbo respectively. Purgatory is where souls are judged for their actions to see whether or not they're qualified to be reincarnated as a newborn baby, and Limbo is where souls that aren't completely evil reside for the rest of eternity, though they can still freely travel between the Planes without the use of portals or magical artifacts.
The premise is that Charlie opened up a resort on Earth for humans, angels, and demons with the purpose of promoting peace and harmony between all of them (an idea which, predictably, a lot of people find pretty stupid), with Norma and Barney being her newest hires, being brought on as a bellhop and groundskeeper respectively.
The characters are a little bit changed up from their original canons, though I'll still try to leave them recognizable as themselves. For one example, Blitzø and Stolas' relationship is much healthier and less transaction-y than it is in Helluva Boss, though Blitzø is totally oblivious to the fact that their relationship is actually romantic (he thinks it's a boss and assistant with benefits situation) for a good chunk of Season 1, despite it being really obvious that they're a thing to the point that it's an open secret among the employees of the resort. Sinner demons don't automatically become demons upon death, but instead make deals with stronger demons to become demons themselves at the cost of their autonomy and souls (e.g. Angel Dust and Valentino). They can also travel between the Planes instead of being restricted to Pride. Pauline Phoenix might or might not be one of these "dealborn" demons, I might have to think about it. Millie is definitely gonna get the spotlight more. We could've certainly gotten more chances to see what makes her tick in HB Season 1 (*cough* Harvest Moon Festival *cough*).
Chapter list (potential spoilers for a fic that hasn't been written yet):
Chapter 1: First Day of Hell
Barney Guttman and Norma Khan are the newest employees at the Happy Hazbins Resort, a resort run by Charlotte “Charlie” Morningstar, the daughter of Lucifer himself. The two human teenagers figure out pretty quickly that the resort isn’t what it seems on the surface.
Chapter 2: Now That’s Entertainment!
After getting into a scrape with the dark angel Temeluchus, Barney’s dog Pugsley has gained the ability to talk. Barney seizes the opportunity to give Pugsley the childhood he himself never got to experience. Meanwhile, Charlie and her girlfriend/assistant manager Vaggie try to make a commercial for the resort, with mixed results.
Chapter 3: Trust In Me
Charlie and Vaggie lead a series of team-building exercises for the employees at the resort to help them build better trust in each other, which leads to Norma having to contend with her deepest fears. Meanwhile, Stolas and his imp assistant (and not-so-secret lover) Blitzø try to help their shy youngest daughter Octavia make friends with the teenage employees.
Chapter 4: Scrambled Eggs
The technologically-inclined snake demon Sir Pentious comes to the resort with an ulterior motive. Meanwhile, Barney asks imp security guards and sweethearts Moxxie and Millie for advice on how to approach his crush, Logan “Logs” Nguyen.
Chapter 5: Night of the Living Fizzbots (or Radio Killed The Video Star)
Alastor, a powerful radio demon and the resort’s head maintenance manager, is always one step ahead of his arch rival, the TV demon Vox. Meanwhile, Barney reunites with his little brother Patrick when the latter is on a class trip to Pollywood, the resort’s theme park based on the film catalog of actress Pauline Phoenix, and later, the two brothers team up with Blitzø to fight an army of rogue robots modeled after the imp’s own arch rival.
Chapter 6: Sweet Poison
Angel Dust, a spider demon and the resort’s late-night entertainer, is in very rough shape after doing a video shoot with his pimp Valentino in the Pride Plane of Hell, leading to Vaggie booking a band of succubi and incubi as a last-minute replacement act while Charlie goes to talk to Valentino about breaking his soul contract with Angel.
Chapter 7: The Blood Moon Festival
It’s the Blood Moon Festival in Hell, and Moxxie and Millie head to the Wrath Plane to visit Millie’s family, leading to both of them suffering from feelings of inadequacy (Millie because she isn’t as efficient of an assassin as her siblings, and Moxxie because Millie’s parents don’t see him as manly enough to be with her). Meanwhile, Charlie gets over her uncharacteristic stage fright to make a special appearance.
Chapter 8: Here Comes Mimzy!
Alastor’s old friend Mimzy comes to the Neutral Plane to hide from a gang of demonic loan sharks. Meanwhile, Angel and his best friend Cherri Bomb go on a quest to locate and steal a stash of Heaven-grown marijuana in the Gluttony Plane, only to get tied up in a plot with supernatural weapon engineer Carmilla Carmine.
Chapter 9: Dread Beat Dad
Charlie’s father Lucifer comes to the resort to see how things are being run so that more angels can come to it. Noticing how awkward the two of them act around each other, Blitzø decides to challenge the king of Hell to a “dad-off” to prove that Blitzø is the superior dad to his own daughters. Meanwhile, Barney confronts his parents about their refusal to stand up to his bigoted grandmother.
Chapter 10: The Angel Vagiel
A flashback chapter detailing Vaggie’s life before falling to Hell and meeting Charlie, and how she was once a top soldier in Heaven’s Angelic Army.
Chapter 11: Welcome to Heaven
Charlie, Vaggie, Fingers, and Courtney all go to Heaven to see if any angels would be interested in coming down to the Neutral Plane and staying at the Happy Hazbins Resort.
Chapter 12: Bumps In The Road
Charlie is reeling from the truth of who Vaggie was, but tries her damnedest to push her feelings aside to prepare for the special guests the resort is expecting. Meanwhile, Vaggie tries to come to terms with herself and figure out who she really is outside her past and her relationship with Charlie.
Chapter 13: Guests From Above
The resort’s new angel guests have arrived, but tensions rise between them and the demon staff. Meanwhile, Pugsley starts having strange premonitions and tries to figure out what they mean.
Chapter 14: Demons’ Night Out
Norma, Badyah, Millie, Loona, and Octavia have a girls’ night out, only to discover that a nefarious plot involving Pauline Phoenix is afoot and set out to solve the mystery of what’s going on. Meanwhile, Moxxie feels lonely without his wife, so Angel, Courtney, and Cherri Bomb bring him on a night out on the Pride Plane, with Sir Pentious and Blitzø tagging along, only for some metaphorical and literal demons from Blitzø’s past to show up.
Chapter 15: Late Nights With Vox
Stolas reels after being humiliated on Vox’s late-night talk show in Hell. Meanwhile, Charlie and Vaggie try to have a nice night out on their fourth anniversary, only to deal with external factors (namely the Hellish Planes not having too many places where you can be openly romantic without being mocked and the Heavenly Planes generally not being fond of demon-angel relationships) getting in the way.
Chapter 16: Love Line Segment
Octavia works up the nerve to confess her feelings to Norma, but doesn’t realize that Norma has feelings for Badyah. Meanwhile, Fingers decides now is the right time to teach Pugsley how to use angelic magic.
Chapter 17: Double Date With Destiny
Barney and Logs invite Norma and Octavia on a double date to help make their new relationship official. Meanwhile, Alastor and Niffty have a chat about life and philosophy as Pugsley progresses towards his destiny.
Chapter 18: The Watcher’s Test, Part 1
A mysterious entity known as the Watcher arrives at the resort to congratulate the employees on defeating his challengers.
Chapter 19: The Watcher’s Test, Part 2
A massive event happens that could shake the very foundation of the 19 planes of existence. Can our heroes successfully work together to defeat the Watcher and change the future?
I've written some other stuff too (not much, but I'd say it's decent, and I look forward to hearing some feedback/constructive criticism). My AO3 profile can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButteredBearcat
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For Father’s Day, the official Helluva Boss account has revealed Stolas’s father, PAIMON.
https://twitter.com/impmurderpros/status/1538620179390664705?s=21&t=OlwXlsd23CeHd6x9OFptiw
Before I get to the actual Paimon in demonology, let’s talk about this alone. First of all, the animation is cool as shit, I’ll admit. I love how you can see him transforming into multiple things, it’s nice to look at! I’ll also say that his design isn’t bad! First of all, I’m glad that he ACTUALLY looks like a damn OWL unlike Stolas, so there’s that, in fact, mans looks more like Stolas than STOLAS does. I’m also digging his color palette! It’s nice to see other colors than red, and brown and orange actually go well together in my eyes! (Though it wasn’t the best idea to put him in a brown background.) While I wish we could have seen the full body to get a look at the design, it’s not bad. Now of course, even though I say it’s not bad, I think they could have done a little more. What?….y’all weren’t expecting nitpicking? Y’all must not know me lol. Even though I like the owl look, he’s just an owl with a crown and that’s it. (And I’m talking about his normal look, so the other forms he turns into doesn’t count) perhaps they could have added symbols on his mask, or make his crown look more unique, or his cloak. I’m nitpicking though, it’s similar to my opinion on Vaggie’s redesign, where it wasn’t by any means bad, but they could have done more.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the actual Paimon in demonology, then I’ll discuss my thoughts on that, as well as what it could mean for the show! So for those who don’t know, “Paimon”, is a demon king who is part of the Ars Goetia. This is his original depiction:
((Piamon (also known Paymon, Bayemont) is the Ninth Spirit, a great king (governs 200 legions), and the most loyal to Lucifer. He has the power of air and is known as the Host of Spirits. He is the teacher of all arts, sciences, and hidden secrets. He used to be a Dominion angel. Paimon is depicted as a man with an effeminate face (a strong man with a woman's face according to other scholars), wearing a precious crown, and riding a dromedary. Before him often goes a host of demons and ghouls with the shape of men, playing trumpets, cymbals, and any other sort of musical instruments. He has a great voice and roars as soon as he arrives, speaking in this manner for a while, until the conjurer compels him and then he answers clearly the questions he is asked. It is said that Paimon is an extremely unrelenting opponent, in both his manipulation and hostility towards humans. He maliciously inflicts severe psychological, physical and spiritual torment upon his victims, including reconstruction of traumatic events, as well as horrifying visions and nightmares. Paimon is full of energy. Loud noises and bright lights tend to make him more active. He can also be surprisingly very colorful and very friendly. Out of all the Goetia demons, Paimon has some of the strongest loyalties to Lucifer. He has an unnaturally loud voice and when continuing speaking at such ear-splitting volume the summoner has to command Paimon to alter his speech in order to understand him.))
Of course, Viv’s depiction of him is different, so let’s discuss that, as well as some of the issues I have. Of course I want to say that like I said before, Viv’s version of demonology characters doesn’t EXACTLY need to be 100% like the original depictions. They are HER characters after all, and in this version, Paimon is an Owl demon who is related to Stolas. Still of course, I do have my worries and issues. The main and most important one is……well why make Paimon Stolas’s father??? This might come of as nitpicking, but it feels…..random. Sure, both demonology characters are fallen Angel’s and teachers, but there’s no real reason to make them related. In fact, someone like Paimon would fit for more of a tutor or associate for Stolas rather than his biological father, but that’s just my opinion. Usually when it comes to Viv’s demonology characters, they always feel like they’re who they are for no reason other than it’s hell. Viv changes the personality and look of the character anyway, and she never even USES said character to their occupation or more to speak, potential. The only reason I say all of this is that I’m scared that Paimon won’t be used to his full potential either. It’s ironically similar to my criticism with Stolas, where YES, he’s “Stolas”, but everything that the original Stolas represented isn’t really there. Sure, he has a book and seems to have an astronomy aesthetic, but like I said before, it’s more of a background thing, whereas the character UPFRONT is just this horny gay guy and that’s it. While his book contributes to the story, part of the problem is that we still don’t KNOW what his job is, or even how he rules as a prince or his duties, so instead we’re just stuck with the character who is labeled as Stolas, but in reality he could have been replaced with an original royal character instead of a demonology one. I’m afraid that’s going to happen with Paimon, where Viv is just….“yeah this is THE Paimon”, but just slap another character who has either a swearing ego or is your typical evil not understanding father. Of course, yes…I KNOW season 2 isn’t even out yet, and the first episode actually SEEMS to be finally leaning into what exactly Stolas does, what his job and occupation as a ruler is etc, but I sincerely hope everything is done for a REASON. Show us why Paimon is Stolas’s father, show us why another demonology character like Andrealphus is his brother in law, etc. I just don’t want these characters to be who they are for no reason ya know? As a writer, almost everything needs to happen for a reason. Even if the depiction is different, there’s a chance to deep dive into what this Paimon does and how he influences Stolas. I really hope we get some good lore of course, and since this episode MIGHT be a flashback, I hope it isn’t vague or background lore like what we’ve been getting in season 1.
Finally, what could this mean for the show?
Well, I’m assuming since Paimon is mostly known for teaching art, science, and having knowledge of all earth, he will teach that to Stolas, hence he will probably be the one to provide him this book. For Viv’s version, it’ll probably be a multiple generation thing, where Stolas gets the book, and then it’ll be his responsibility to lend the book to his offspring in the future. Due to that, I’m certainly wondering what they’re going to do with Paimon, what HIS job and occupation is, aka his purpose as another royalty member since here, both him and Stolas aren’t fallen Angel’s. When it comes to the book, the obvious question is what you DO when you are given it, so I sincerely hope that question will be answered in this episode. There’s so many, what Paimon does, why he needs to lend his offspring the book, whats his view on the occupation he has and how he sees Hell’s class, how STOLAS feels about these duties, what is the book’s purpose to this world of hell, why choose the members of the Ars Goetia as characters, there’s just a LOT of questions, and it certainly doesn’t help that the lore itself we get in the show is always vague or crumbs of information. We don’t even KNOW what Stolas’s job is, so it’s kinda hard to theorize what this could mean for him, especially since the book itself (for now) feels more like a portal plot device than anything else. Obviously I’m assuming his father will teach him about earth, astronomy, and how to be a good ruler of course. There’s potential for Paimon to be interesting, since he is depicted as “surprisingly being friendly ”, it would be cool for him to be that character that acts and seems very gentle and nurturing, but is actually very manipulative and a monster that you wouldn’t want to mess with deep down……BUUUUT I don’t think that’s what we’re ganna get. You all knew this was coming, but despite everything I’ve said, I’m not expecting a lot, more like the bare minimum. Like the critical fandom has already said, Paimon will probably be your stern, mean, controlling abusive father you’ve seen a million times in other films and tv. He’ll of course probably be prejudice and who could forget HOMOPHOBIC, not understanding of his son and just that old mean mentor who goes “Son, you must be fit to rule, son, you must take this job seriously, son you can’t show weakness, son, those below us are weak”— all that jazz. I also have the feeling he won’t be subtle at all too, like the writers are instantly going to make him mean and cruel upfront to prove he’s a dick. I’m afraid he’s just going to be ANOTHER pawn, a character in Stolas’s life that’s worse than him so the audience can sympathize and feel bad for him, and I’m sick of the writers doing this. It doesn’t help that season 2 has yet to show Andrealphus, ANOTHER character who’s whole purpose is likely to be mean to the uwu owl birb so we can feel more bad for him. I hate how predictable everything feels, I can already SMELL this episode just existing to show how “sad” his life as a baby was, and how abusive his father is and there’s just no fun in it. My expectations are VERY low for Paimon, he’ll probably just be a controlling father who wants to keep to the social norms (without explaining properly what said social norm is like) and as for the lore with the book and the occupations, I doubt much will be done with it. Viv will probably just be vague again and move on to the next thing without showing or explaining properly how anything works, but…..we’ll see.
This episode of course has potential to be really interesting, I actually wouldn’t mind it being a full on flashback episode, just young Stolas and his father teaching him the ways (it would also a breath of fresh air to get away from our annoying main imp characters sorry not sorry) but yeah, my expectations are still low. I sincerely do hope season 2 is better than season 1, cause season one is just BURSTING with issues (expect more posts on that soon!) but as long as Viv and Brandon are on the writers team, I’m not expecting much. We don’t know what will happen in the future, but all I can pray for is that it’s an improvement from the first season. 😬
#vivziepop critical#spindlehorse critical#anti vivziepop#vivziepop#vivienne medrano#helluva boss critical#helluva boss#helluva boss season 2#helluva boss Paimon#Paimon#vivziepop demonology#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss Stolas#helluva boss predictions#brandon rogers
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Imaginary - Chapter 6
Rating: Mature for this chapter, but Explicit in future chapters
Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader
Summary: A mysterious device throws you into the animated world of Hazbin Hotel. Once an average human living in a three-dimensional world, you’re now transformed into a two-dimensional human that has been cast into Hell. Pentagram City’s residents are curious and most harbor ill-will towards you. Charlie and the staff of the Happy Hotel take you in and offer you protection while they try and figure out how to return you to your world. That is… until you come across a certain Radio Demon with different intentions. Warnings: Manipulation, Language, Awkward Situations
Previous Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
Tags: @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice @edgy-drama-queen @chasingfireflies1999 @galaxy-meteor @cecidit-31 @shadowclawstudio88 @utterly-disappointing @opheliuva @trinswhimsys @skylarhedges @whogavebrynjolfpermissiontobehot @sailor-earth-1
After your tiff with Alastor, you stomped off to seek the solitude of your own room. Dealing with him was infuriating and confusing. He had a way about him where even though you couldn’t stand him, you sometimes found yourself craving his company.
Maybe you were a masochist. That would make the most sense for why you were so fucked up and had weird, conflicting feelings about the arrogant demon.
The next day when you returned to the library, you were not at all surprised to see Alastor there waiting for you. Before you could even negatively comment on his presence, he held his hands up in surrender. “My dear, I owe you the sincerest of apologies. My behavior has been abysmal, and I am quite ashamed.”
You narrowed your eyes, suspicious of his sudden change of heart. His grin widened at your hesitance. “I’ll admit, I’ve gotten carried away during our prior interactions. Let me assure you, I only have the best of intentions. I would like us to be comrades. After all, as previously established, we can help each other. I am still dedicated to helping you return to your world.”
“Whatever, Alastor,” you brushed him off, pinching the bridge of your nose, your patience lacking. “I really don’t have the mental capacity for this right now. Just… keep your pervy hands and weird opinions to yourself. That’s all I ask.”
His lips peeled back further to make his already creepy grin look even more sinister. “Of course, my dear. As you wish.”
You weren’t stupid. You’d be a fool to think that he was being genuine, but at the same time, he was one of the most powerful beings in Hell. As you had already concluded, it couldn’t hurt to let someone like that help you, even if he had selfish intentions. It was just a matter of not falling victim to his advances.
Yet again, the two of you hit the books, making yourselves comfortable on the couch. Much to your relief, he stayed on the opposite end rather than crowd you with his overbearing presence. Instead, he kept to himself, humming softly as he skimmed through the pages of the books, seemingly content with the tedious task of research.
After intricately combing through five different books on magical travel, your eyelids started to get heavier, no longer able to concentrate. Not long after, you found yourself dozing off, your limbs going slack as you unintentionally slid down on the couch until you were met with a cushioned surface, enabling you to soundly fall asleep.
It wasn’t clear how much time had passed. It could have been merely a few minutes, or several hours. Either way, you were extremely comfortable and didn’t feel like moving.
Unfortunately, a voice nearby caused you to stir, interrupting your glorious nap. “Al, you soft son of a bitch.”
“Good evening, Husker. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Alastor’s voice sounded odd. Deeper and strangely close by, whereas Husk was clearly speaking from another part of the room. Still, even knowing that others were present, you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes, the allure of sleep keeping you content.
“How long you been sitting here like this?” the cat demon snickered.
“Oh, it’s difficult to say,” Alastor sighed candidly. “To be frank, my friend, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation.”
Husk’s deep laughter echoed softly throughout the library. “So your aggressive approach didn’t pan out, huh? What a surprise. Always knew your bark was worse than your bite. Now you’re just a teddy bear.”
“Is there a reason for your visit? If so, I do wish that you’d just get on with it. I do not enjoy being mocked.”
“Settle down,” Husk prompted. “I’m not here to ruffle your feathers. I was coming to relieve you and help out the girl with research, but seeing as you’re so comfortable, I guess I’ll just be on my way.”
“Do not leave me here,” the Radio Demon warned, the static in his voice thickening with subtle rage. “Do something. Now.”
“You’ve slayed Overlords. You can’t manage to push a weak human off of your shoulder?”
“Husker.”
“Alright, alright,” he relented, sensing Alastor’s tone. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
A firm pressure on your shoulder followed by an abrupt shake quickly alerted you to the situation that you were in. Eyes fluttering open, you tilted your head back to see that you had been pressed up against Alastor, using his body as a pillow.
You immediately shot up, giving yourself a head-rush as you did so. “Oh… Uh, Alastor, I’m so sorry. I didn’t…”
At a loss for words, you felt your cheeks reddening with embarrassment as you glanced at Husk who had an amused expression on his face.
Quickly rising from the couch and stretching his limbs, Alastor brushed off your apology. “Think nothing of it, my dear. I am glad to be of assistance, and I hope that you are now fully rested.”
Okay, what the hell? Who was this new Alastor? He went from being perverted and possessive to kind and charming? No, something was off. There was no way that his personality could have changed so dramatically overnight, but now was not the time to interrogate him about it.
“Yeah, uh, much better. Thanks. I’m… going to go take a shower,” you muttered, trying to find any reason to leave the library immediately.
Before either Alastor or Husk had a chance to respond, you practically sprinted out the door and ran for your room where you plopped face-down on the bed and released a muffled groan. You were slightly convinced that you were dying of embarrassment and that was the real reason you were trapped in Hell.
Sighing heavily, you eventually got up and took a cold shower, washing away the essence of Alastor that might have clung to you when you laid on him. Shortly after, you dried off and walked back to your room, shocked to find Charlie and Vaggie waiting for you with concerned expressions.
“Um, hey?” you greeted nervously. “What’s up?”
Vaggie narrowed her eyes and scoffed while Charlie took a more delicate approach. “So, listen… we’re so glad to hear that you’re becoming more and more comfortable here, but…” she trailed off, not sure how to proceed and turning to her girlfriend for help.
Crossing her arms, Vaggie stated bluntly, “Don’t hook up with Alastor.”
Mouth agape, you struggled to find the words to convey your bewilderment. “Um, I’m sorry, what ? Why the hell would you say that? I have no intention of spending more time with him than necessary, let alone that .”
Rolling her eyes, Vaggie countered, “Look, it’s no secret that he’s taken a liking to you. He’s a determined little shit and he will try to charm his way into your good graces. His whole persona is based on his ability to manipulate. It’s just better to not get involved with him. If I had it my way, he wouldn’t even be allowed in the hotel, but what’s done is done.”
“Okay? What exactly does that have to do with me hooking up with him? You don’t think I have more restraint than that?” you questioned, still unsure as to why they were upset.
Charlie interjected again, easing the tension. “We’ve seen you with him and things seem to be getting very… friendly. Husk told us you slept with him…” Ugh, it was like Angel’s prior accusations all over again.
“ On him,” you clarified defensively. “We were doing more research and I passed out on his shoulder! That’s it! Listen, I don’t trust him any more than you do. You don’t need to lecture me about staying on guard. That’s all I’ve been doing since I arrived here.”
Charlie bit her lip and gave you an apologetic look while Vaggie’s expression softened a little. “We didn’t mean to ambush you,” Charlie added. “We just wanted to make sure that you were okay and that he wasn’t forcing you into anything. We’re still getting to know him ourselves.”
“No, it’s fine,” you replied, waving your hand dismissively. “I get it, and I appreciate it. I didn’t mean to come off as bitchy, I’m just… stressed, I guess.”
“Understandable,” Vaggie chimed in, no longer appearing as hostile as she did a minute ago. “We’re still looking for answers on how to get you back to your world, and I can only imagine how terrifying and crazy this has been for you, but we want to make sure that your head is in the right place. Stay away from Alastor.”
“You called, little moth?”
Turning towards the entryway, Alastor stood proudly, twirling his staff nonchalantly in his hands.
Growling, Vaggie snarled, “Do you really have to be here all the time? Don’t you have somewhere else to be? A seedy back alley, perhaps? Busying yourself with souls to torment?”
“Ha!” he exclaimed, amused by Vaggie’s unwavering disdain for him. “Darling girl, this is where my priorities lie for the time being. Fear not, I have no intention of interjecting into what I’m sure is a very fascinating conversation.”
“Then why are you here?” she snapped, flexing her fingers angrily like she was trying to hold back from choking him.
Widening his permanent grin, he turned his attention to Charlie before replying cooly, “It appears you have a visitor.”
“Me?” Charlie asked, perplexed.
“Yes, my dear,” he confirmed, resting on his staff that he had stopped fiddling with. “Your guest is waiting for you in the parlor.”
The three of you began to head towards the door to see who had arrived, but Alastor whipped his staff out in front of you, preventing you from going any further.
“No, no, no, darling. Not you.” Charlie and Vaggie didn’t seem to notice as they continued out of the room, leaving you alone with the Radio Demon.
Eyeing him skeptically, you asked, “Why not?”
He almost looked… nervous? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but it was an uncharacteristic look for him. Though his smile remained, his demeanor wasn’t his usual arrogant and unbothered self. “Believe me when I say that it is in your best interest to remain here.”
Worrying your lip, you replied, “Alastor, I really don’t think that it’s a good idea for you and I to be alone together anymore.”
Tiling his head to convey his confusion, he asked, “Oh? And why is that?”
Swallowing thickly, you muttered, “I-I just… um… people are starting to think--”
Before you could finish your thought, an unfamiliar voice was drawing nearer, distracting you.
“...permission to enter my own hotel? Foolish daughter. You may work here, but this hotel is mine, as is everything else in Pride Ring. Now, where is our exotic guest?”
Though he was playing it off well, you noticed how Alastor went rigid as the voice got closer. Listening more intently, you could hear multiple sets of footsteps along with Charlie begging, “No! Dad, please just listen to me! Don’t--”
Not a moment later, a strange, yellow-eyed demon burst through the door, beaming right at you, followed by a very nervous Charlie. Vaggie was nowhere to be seen.
The excited demon was taller than you, though not as tall as Alastor. He was as pale as Charlie with similar rosey cheeks and blonde hair. He was adorned with a white and red tuxedo with dress pants and a cane with an apple on the end. His toothy smile was just as wicked as Alastor’s, and left you with a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.
“Ah, there you are. Look at you!” he proclaimed before surging forward and taking your hands in his, pulling you harshly towards him.
You stumbled forward, tripping on your own feet but managing to find your balance before he danced around you, inspecting you closely. Quirking a brow at him, you weren’t keen on the idea of someone looking you over so intimately.
Catching you off-guard, he suddenly reached forward and cupped your face with his hands as he ran his thumbs across your cheeks. Instinctually, you smacked his hands away, just as you had done previously with Alastor. “Seriously? What is it with you demons and lack of personal space?” you snapped, now seething with irritation.
He stood back, clearly surprised by your tenaciousness. “Feisty, aren’t we?” he chuckled, fiddling with his bow tie before straightening his posture. “Oh, we’re going to get along just fine. I can see that.”
“I’m sorry,” you replied with exasperation. “Who are you?”
Smiling wider, he answered, “I’m Lucifer, the King of Hell, my delectable little human. And you’re coming with me.”
#hazbn hotel#alastor#radio demon#alastor x reader#hazbin alastor#fanfiction#hazbin hotel fanfiction#charlie magne#vaggie#husk#hazbin husk#the radio demon#imaginary fanfiction
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•Under the Red Sky•
Chapter 1. The Introduction
Alastor walked mindlessly down the side walk of a crimson world with an everlasting smile upon his lips. His golden yellow teeth sharp as razors always glaring at passerby's. With all the killing he could do Alastor found himself to be quite bored with things nothing that interesting has happened besides his normal day to day things like talking to Rosie and laughing about the other low life's flooding into hell. That's the thing though instead of evil and tormented petrified souls coming to the place they belong in they're getting fished out like side dishes at an all you can eat buffet. The yearly purge or "cleanse" as it's called due to overcrowding flushes out hundreds upon hundreds of demons every 666 days. Alastors smile stretched as he remembered that the all mighty god and his children orchestrate this event. "How pitiful" Alastor thought to himself. A God who destroys his own misbehaved children by having his well behaved children wipe them out of existence. Ironic maybe..
Alastors thoughts were interrupted by the sound of static and a female voice singing, an annoying sound to him at most, the tv static not the singing. Thanks to his "pal" Vox just hearing the incoherent noises a tv makes in it's void of connection makes him wretch. But still with a smile on his face he turned to the source. Almost instantly demons crowded around the class that guarded the tvs. A flicker of intrigue shined through the red demons florescent eyes as he looked on at the screens. A closer look was indeed needed as the princess of hell herself was beaming upon the screens. Alastor stepped forward his presence alone sent chills down the other demons spines as they swiftly moved away from the radio demon. On the screen the princess of hell seemed to have been promoting that new hotel that was built. yet she was singing about a "happy hotel?" Alastor laughed to himself, "What and absolute sham.." Yet Alastor couldn't shake the feeling of interest the young demoness sparked within him. He certainly couldn't resist after a quite hilarious fight broke out between the princess and one of the demon news reporters. "Oh what a nasty brawl wish i were there in person to see!" Alastor yet again laughed to himself, his mind was made up and his boredom seemed to be quenched, it had found its next source.
Charlie returned back to the hotel which in a sense was her home. Well especially since she lived there after all. After a sh!t show that was the news broadcasts only meant to promote he hotel she felt quite terrible. An overbearing feeling of dread filled her as she suspected her fathers words to be true. Vaggie and Angel were getting into it so charlie just slipped out the front door to make a quick call to her mother. Not that her mother would return it, it just felt nice to at least pretend like someone was listening to her.
Little did she know someone was listening to her. Alastor had arrived at just the right time to see a gleam of dispair shine through the usual happy and giddy princess. A side he figured lingered within her like everyone else but seeing a lady cry never made Alastor happy. Alastor stood proper and prim as he made his way over to the damsel in distress only to have her turn and shut the door on his nose as soon as he reached out to tap her on the shoulder.
Charlie walked back inside and closed the door but not a second later a knock came to the door with the sound of radio static outside. Charlie's eyes widened as she carefully reached for the and opened it to reveal a demon in a red suit and color scheme.
"Hell-" the door closed but charlie's opened it again to make sure what she saw was real.
"lo!-" she closed it again.
"Oh god." she said aloud to herself. She opened the door slowly this time and peered her head around it carefully.
"May i speak now?" the Radio demon said as his smile widened. His eyes lowered to her soft rosy cheeks. "what a sight" Alastor thought.
"Um you may but can i ask are you here to be redeemed?" Charlie asked with a glint of hope and a little smile on her face.
Alastor noticed this little smile it made his eyes soften for a moment before he went back to his usual demeanor. He opened the door with a burst of energy letting himself in. "HAHAHhaha, no ofcourse not my dear!"
Charlie was a bit bewildered, "Then why are you here? Please if you've come to mock me you can let yourself out i know you've probably seen the news anyway." Charlie said as she gestured towards the door with a bit of sadness in her voice.
"What? No ofcourse i don't want to mock you my dear! Why that show was quite entertaining and it's just what i was looking for!" Alastor beamed as he projected his voice enough for the other patrons, aka Angel and Vaggie, to hear.
"Oh yeah and what's that?" Charlie asked referring to what he was searching for.
"Why something to cure my boredom you devilish girl!~" Alastor said whilst spinning round charlie and ending with an arm around her shoulder and his face awfully close to hers
Charlie blushed at the sudden closeness and creeped her way back to her own little bubble. "So you're gonna help with the hotel just cause you're bored?"
"Precisely! Let's call this investment for my entertainment." Al said with a big showy smile on his face once again leaning down to meet charlie's gaze and popping her little personal bubble of space. "I want to watch the scum of the earth and all sinners alike climb the ladder of redemption only to fall back down in the firery pit of failure" Al finished with a red glow in his eyes along with an amused expression at the very thought of it.
"Um Yeah." Charlie brushes off nervously. Just then the other patrons, aka Vaggie and Angel come scurrying you're see who the new person was.
"Oh hey guys." Charlie said with a nervous smile as the tall red demon loomed over her and stared at the other patrons with a sickening smile.
"Oh charlie tell me you did not just make a deal with the radio demon!?" Vaggie blurred out as she drew her spear and pointed it at Al.
"No no relax Vaggie i didn't make any-"
"Unless you'd like to make a deal my dear!" Al quickly proposed as his brow furrowed and his smile widened.
"NO no no deals! Okay?" if charlie knew anything it was to not make any deals with a demon let alone the radio demon himself.
Angel piped in with a little giggle, "What? you scared of this guy. He looks like a strawberry pimp HA!"
Vaggie slapped Angel on one of his arms, "Show some respect he could kill us in the blink of an eye." she said quietly as she gritted her teeth.
A little rumble of static sifted its way through the air around Alastor not before stopping the moment Charlie turn to Al suspiciously.
"Okay so no deals but by the power and status invested in me i hear by ask you to stay and aid the hotel.. for as long as you'd like... and no tricks or voodoo magic or anything got it." Charlie finished as she eyed Alastor up and down.
"You have my word my dear." Al said with an unusually more sinister smile than before. Little did Charlie know his shadow had its claws crossed. Al stood confident as he forged an idea of what exactly he could obtain from this little adventure with the princess. His smile grew ever so widely, his pupils small he had somewhat of a deranged look in his eyes as he realized what he really wanted to do. He laughed to himself quietly as Vaggie and Charlie talked back and forth about their situation. "Those angels will get what they deserve and so will the big man upstairs." and with that thought Al stepped forward and swooped his arm around Charlie as he pulled her forward and away from Vaggie. "Now come my dear enough of this senseless bickering its time to do business!"
(So the rest just follows in suit to what happens in the pilot, like Alastor bringing Nifty and Husk into the whole ordeal.)(to note Charlie and Vaggie are not together in this au but still are really close friends)
A few weeks have passed since Alastor joined the gang. No other demon has showed up to the hotel other than to maybe throw food or make fun of the mere idea of the hotel. Funny thing is even if Alastor has no care for the cause he still scared the living daylights out of anyone trying to tarnesh the hotel and its name. On the outside could be mistaken for Alastors boredom getting the better of him, afterall demon hunting was a fun hobby of his. Yet perhaps it was something deeper than that that kept him around going out of his way to do things for the hotel. Besides what Alastor was plotting, the hotel was rather enjoyable especially when the princess would be around him. He did enjoy her company though and found himself to do things in her favor. Maybe just to please her to get closer to her and his goal or rather something else. Alastor shook away his thoughts when he saw the young princess scurrying around like a madman. "What is she up to?"
Al snuck up behind Charlie as she fumbled around with books looking to be some sort of old phone books.
"My dear may i ask what you're doing?" Alastor said whilst leaning over with a curious grin on his face.
Charlie jumped in surprise, "Oh god you scared me Al"
Al huh a new nickname for him but he didn't appose to the sudden change. He kinda liked how comfortable she was getting.
"I'm just uh sorting through some old phone books to see if i can rent out a place for the hotel" Charlie said as she flipped through pages.
"Space? Don't we have enough of that here! haha" Alastor joked while he spun and gestured to the wide open space of the main area.
"Yes but it's not preferable for dancing." Charlie laughed with a little smile.
A sudden radio blip crackled through Alastor.
Charlie thought to herself "Did that startled him?"
"Dancing? DANCING? Why my dear no need to waste money this room exact is perfect for a ball. Why i'll have this place ready in no time for you my dear-"
Charlie jumped up and put her arms on Als shoulder for just a second then retracted them a little out of fear but just to calm him down. "Hey, hey that's okay look i know we have plenty of room i just don't want the hotel trashed by people who don't even care about it."
Al noticed the sudden jerk of her arms when they retreated. Another blip cracked through him with a little static as he tilted his head to the side with a smile. For a moment Charlie mistook it for sadness in his smile but when she looked again it was gone and back to its normal sinister self.
Alastor hummed in response then took up a few books.
"Hey i need those?" Charlie said with a confused look on her face.
Angel who was passed out at the bar awoke to a giant book being slammed next to his face.
"AGHHHHHHH jeez what'd you do that for smiles?!" Angel cried as he jumped up from his nap.
"Hey you insulant porn star help Charlie look for a dance room or so help me." Alastor threatened as static loomed around him and radio cracks and blips seemed through but this was to no avail.
"Yes sir, i like it when you take charge~" Angel commented with a perverted joke as always and a wide smug smile present on his face.
Alastor pretended he didn't hear that and reluctantly went over to Vaggie. Him and Vaggie haven't gotten along in the slightest since his arrival at the hotel. He glared at her as he handed her the book, Vaggie sneered at him as she took the book from his grasp. And with that Al gave a book to both Husk and Nifty and had the whole hotel staff searching for a place.
⎯
part 2 part 3
#chalastor#charlastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin charlie#hazbin hotel#charlastor fanfic#hazbin fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction
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❌ So yesterday night Alastor invited over a guest to cook dinner for.
❌ I could tell the second she arrived because I could hear frigging "Be Our Guest" start up in the lobby.
❌ I tried to avoid that whole scene, but from down a hall I definitely spotted a shadow-thing juggling dishes.
❌ He rewrote the lyrics. I didn't catch all of them, but I did hear "Can they sing? Who can tell! After all, doll, this is Hell!"
❌ If you're on the fence about checking into the hotel and you're a musical theater fan: if you come, there's basically a 100% chance that the Radio Demon will do a musical number for you.
((So @autokrates came over for dinner last night, and we decided not to roleplay it out, but we DID write a long semi-pseudo-roleplay summary of how that meeting would have gone, so for any parties who are interested, HERE'S THAT CHAT LOG))
Valera
So! Largely, I believe. Val showing up, a musical number happens, and then ingredient delivery
Alastor
Sounds right.
Then Alastor preps dinner, spends too much time fussing with this Newfangled Modern Machine With Settings And Dials, and they sit staring at a slow cooker for a while.
Valera
Ah yes, nothing like sitting in dead silence waiting for things with someone you don't know! She should have asked Pentious for-- OH YEAH. Slide a pamphlet over. He can busy himself with memorizing that for a little while
Alastor
He absolutely will. And he will politely play showtunes in the background for the benefit of his guest as he reads.
Valera
Ah, just the thing for her to occupy herself with. Quietly stimming by wiggling her fingers and tail to the music
Alastor
He'd probably say thanks for the info but uh why give it to him? (Not that he doesn't WANT it but like, it seems pretty private, he's surprised that Valera—and Sir Pent?—think he's worthy of being let in on where Sir Pentious is this week)
Alastor three days after falling asleep on the floor all tangled up with Sir Pent: haha yeah but it's not like we're CLOSE is it?
Valera
Dumb old men being dumb!!!
Alastor
HE JUST. ASSUMES HE'S WAY MORE INTO THIS THAN SIR PENT...
Valera
Pentious asked her to elaborate to Alastor what was happening, since she's still got a level head and experience with shedding. Which is convenient, because she'd fully intended to anyway. Pentious may want company, and Alastor needs to be prepared.
Alastor
OuO oh so he trusts Alastor that much huh. He will... file that fact away... somewhere in his heart
Valera
Aside from herself, he's the person Pentious trusts most. Casually sips materialized tea.
Alastor
Immediately tries to play it off like HAHA MUST BE A SHORT LIST. ... Which would probably be funnier if not for the fact that, like, it IS a short list.
Valera
She will... Refrain from commenting on the list being Two People long. But she will raise a very deliberate eyebrow at the way he avoids any signs of emotional attachment
Which actually reminds her! She owes him an apology.
Maybe multiple? Whatever.
Alastor
(He might be verbally avoiding signs of emotional attachment but outside of that, like, it's gonna be hard for her not to notice that his attention on the conversation goes from like 75% to 110% the moment Sir Pent comes into it and he drops everything to focus on the Info Pamphlet That Might Be Helpful For Sir Pent)
Genuinely :)? at that, apology for what
Valera
Well, a few things! Pentious shared Alastor's letters with her, which, yes he was asking for input, but it was a bit invasive.
Alastor
Goes from :)? to :]
Valera
And then for, what was it, outing him? The post was taken down, but if Pentious had mixed feelings about it, well. She can't assume how Alastor felt even if she did say it was an Opinion Piece.
Shrug!!
Alastor
Oh THAT? Sure Alastor thinks he saw that go by now that Val mentions it. It's exactly what she said: an opinion piece!!! Why, he's an infamous celebrity! Everyone has an opinion on him and most of them are wrong! He doesn't put much stock in them~
Valera
Regardless! Her bluntness charms some, but it can also be quite inappropriate. She hopes it didn't distress him too much, it was never her intention.
She is a POLITICIAN.
Alastor
Why, he hardly even noticed it.
Valera
Good! Looping back around to her beau, did Alastor have any other questions?
Alastor
... Anything he can send to help out?
(NOW he's all self-conscious, offering to do something NICE. gotta try to be all aloof about it)
Valera
(Wow he really IS like Pentious but Even Worse.. She is amazed.) Send? Oh, no dear fellow. Asking for food today was largely a cover to visit without having Vaggie relay all this information thirdhand. Though he did do quite a fine job of making the food, Pentious will love it.
(assuming, but the Smell)
Alastor
✨💖 Oh will he? That's good. 💖✨
Valera
Yes. Alastor cut the vegetables and meat into the perfect sizes to avoid a texture issue, couldn't have done it better herself. Prr prr
Alastor
(He's like Texture Issue???? but like. He's not gonna ask.)
Valera
She will GLOSS PAST THAT, THEN. Beyond the food, which was a lovely bonus, hmm... No, she's already providing the lotions and voice recordings for Pentious. Unless he's willing to be an in house cheer squad when the snake gets bored and blind, there isn't much he could do.
Alastor
Well, he'd be glad to come over for a visit if it'd lift his spirits—if Sir Pentious would want the visit?
Valera
She expects he will! He's.. Distressed.
Uncomfortable shift. SHE DOESN'T LIKE BEING SO VAGUE.
Alastor
Well now she's got 150% of Alastor's attention.
Valera
Twitchy Tail Time!!! Yes. Well, the pamphlet makes it very dry, but a shed is nothing short of agony. Itchy, painful, it leaves you blind and helpless. If you've already got... experiences with such things. It makes it worse. Pentious is barely into it and he's already ready to attack anything that moves.
Alastor
... Well! Let Alastor know when he can come by.
(He's got trouble wrapping his head around the idea of WANTING company while pained and helpless, but if Valera says he does, then Alastor is going by that)
(... and if Sir Pent gets pissed Alastor came over he's 100% pointing a finger at Val and going "well she said you'd like it")
Valera
(LMAO)
(Val would explain it as wanting a strong person present so you can feel protected and finally relax)
(She's appealed to Pentious' ego with that!!)
Hah! Yes, of course. Though he may need to go to Valera's home, fair warning. She's trying to coax Pentious into laying in her tub to get through this. She's got more equipment to deal with the symptoms, and a larger bathroom by far.
Alastor
Having a near stranger over sounds like something that should worry Valera more than Alastor! For him, it's a bonus.
Valera
OH MAKE NO MISTAKE. VAL'S NOT SURE ABOUT IT
BUT. she's confident Alastor isn't going to do anything dumb in her house
bc Pentious would FLIP SHIT
Alastor
She's already decided that Alastor won't behave himself out of basic decency as a guest or even out of a desire to maybe get invited back but he WILL behave himself solely because Sir Pent is there and he's feeling kind of called out. Called out in his own kitchen, in front of his own crock pot,
Valera
Raises an eyebrow
She's grinning but she shouldn't be when she's acting like a little shit
Alastor
BUT WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAYS IS of course he'll be on his best behavior :) :) :)
WHY IT'S NOT EVERY DAY HE MEETS SOMEONE WITH SUCH FINE TASTE IN THE PERFORMING ARTS, he'd be a fool to be a poor guest
Valera
Glad to hear it! He's been nothing but a perfect gentleman so far, but with the way Pentious rants about other demons, an abundance of caution seems wise. Nothing personal, dear fellow.
Demon culture is very much a mystery to her, and a confusing one at that.
Alastor
COMPLETELY reasonable. After all, everyone is down here for a reason.
Valera
She would agree, if the concept of sin wasn't such an odd one! It comes down to survival of the fittest, at the end. But just because some pompous sky man says he loves you if you follow his contradictory rules, humans are doomed to eternal torment? It's bizarre.
Ah, but excuse her. Her viewpoint is, literally, alien.
Alastor
You make the world, you make the rules. What is the guy powerful enough to give the orders and see that they're obeyed if not "the fittest"? Who has the power to argue if he prints a list of criteria for who he does and doesn't want joining him in his gated community in the sky?
He's told someone tried to argue with him once. And that's how THIS little neighborhood got started.
Valera
Oh, it's not so bad. Heaven is a pretty dull place! All sorts of goody two shoes drinking tea and baking pies in the perfect idyllic weather. Forever.
Alastor
You know, for a time, Alastor used to think that all the "punishment" narratives around Hell were just talk. He had this theory that, actually, humans were sent to the afterlife they were better suited for. The people sent to Heaven are the kind of people who'd LIKE being in Heaven, the people sent to Hell are the kind of people who would be bored stiff in Heaven and just make it miserable for the people who want to be there.
But he was wrong. It really, truly is rotten down here. Not just because of the wilted vegetables and awful weather. Hell grinds at you on a spiritual level. It really is a punishment.
Valera
Well that's.. A lot at once. Vaguely concerned frown.. That she is going to cover with her tea turning to a Nice Dark Coffee. SSSssssssSSSIP.
Alastor
Just thought she might benefit from an insider perspective! She can rest assured: the pie-baking tea-drinkers really are better off.
:) :) :)
Valera
Interesting! She's never spent much time in Hell out of arms reach of Pentious, but that's something to keep in mind for the future.
Alastor
Happy to help~!
Valera
[[ val voice: haha yeah whenever I'm in hell I'm getting doted on but I'll keep an eye out for emotional wear and tear!
Alastor
(It's different for visitors who only come to chat with the convicts)
Valera
(Of course. More for Pentious than herself, she doesn't know a lot of his backstory yet BUT SHE KNOWS ITS SAD)
Now, moving to happier topics! She loves what hes done with the hair. Though it makes him rather fresh faced
Alastor
WHY, THANK YOU!! It was all the rage a hundred years ago! But they do say fashion trends come back around!!
Sir Pentious wasn't as impressed by it, but, hey, can't win them all, can you?
Valera
Ah, don't worry about it. He just takes a bit to come around to change!
... Usually.
Alastor
Well, doesn't matter, he probably won't be keeping it long.
"Usually"?
Valera
She grins!!! Yes, usually. He's remarkably easy to get on board with just about anything if you can relate to something else he likes.
Alastor
Well, naturally! Who isn't?
Valera
The LOOK on her face is like she SUCKED A LEMON.
You'd be surprised.
Alastor
... Apparently so!
he's gone from :) to 8) like what did he just step in
Valera
NOTHING SHE'S GETTING INTO! Now, tell her dear man. What kind of musicals do you like?
Alastor
............... All of them???
Valera
Oh? Everything from Les Mis to Cats?
Anything Goes?
Alastor
Are those the two extremes? Then apparently so! What about you?!
Valera
She has preferences when she's PERFORMING in them, but from an enjoyment perspective, she can appreciate any production.
Alastor
A fan after his own dead heart!
Valera
She can do a MEAN patter song, but she likes being able to dance around while she's belting lines out. Acrobatics are where she can really show off!
Alastor
Well, then he hopes he'll have a chance to see her dancing sooner rather than later! Alastor never received much in the way in formal training in dance, and he's sure it shows, but he likes to think he makes up for it with personality.
Valera
Oh pish posh. Dance is at least fifty percent attitude, he'd be phenomenal on or off the stage. And she can always give pointers, if he's looking for them.
Alastor
He really only does it for his own entertainment—AND for the entertainment of honored guests, of course—but if he ever decides to get back into theater for whatever reason, he'll keep her generous offer in mind.
Valera
Of course! Not like she's going to do a lot of dancing with Pentious here. Her love is many things, but a dancer is not one of them. Snrk snrk.
Alastor
Really. Huh.
So how DID they meet, anyway?? Alastor's been wondering! Hard for sinners to meet many people outside of Hell.
Valera
Oh! Haha, funny story, that. But how much detail does he REALLY want?
Alastor
Well, far be it from him to pry into anything she doesn't think she ought to share, of course. But he wouldn't have asked if he didn't wonder.
Valera
Fair! Alright, well. They met on tumblr, obviously. Pentious was flailing about being combative and intentionally aggressive. You know. Pentious.
Alastor
Naturally.
Valera
She decided to approach him without the immediate hostility so many of her peers were demonstrating. Doesn't everyone deserve a chance to explain themselves, after all? He seemed like he was lashing out, not truly malicious. Nobody had bothered explaining to him that what he did was wrong, or why.
And, you know. If you attack someone, you can't be surprised if they attack you right back. Obviously.
Alastor
Obviously.
Valera
So! Yes. She approached him, asked questions. Asked for his side of things. And they got along just fine! So she invited him over for tea, arguably. But mostly he invited himself over because she made too much tea.
Alastor
So just a chance encounter while adrift among the Internet's airwaves! How serendipitous.
Valera
More or less! Though really, she'd spoken to Alastor more at that point. Other Alastor. He'd been inviting her over to his hell, so she'd likely have met Pentious under very different circumstances if she hadn't approached him then.
But! He came over, and they talked. And they talked a LOT. About their passions, and about how ridiculous people can be these days.
And gods, can they. Then they decided to watch The Mikado! Has he heard of it?
Alastor
Has he heard of it?! One of Gilbert & Sullivan's most renown shows?! Madam! Of course he had!
Valera
Oh good, good good! He continues to impress! So lovely to know there are other people with taste around here. So yes! They watched The Mikado, and it went.. Almost alarmingly well. At the start they were on opposite ends of the couch, and by the end he was sprawled across her lap like he lived there.
Alastor
...... Well!
He warms up to people fast.
Valera
Haha! Perhaps he was simply overly pleased to connect with someone again, and let his guard down? They wound up making out on the couch like a pair of horny teens, so.
Alastor
...... Well!
Valera
Sssssips drink.
Alastor
............ Congratulations! (he has No Idea what you're supposed to say to that)
Valera
Thanks! (She doesn't either) Want to know an incredibly adorable fact about Penny?
Alastor
Sure!!
(he is retaining a Remarkable poker face through all this)
Valera
He likes it when you scratch his hood. Makes him melt in to a happy little pile of scales.
(someone please... Help Alastor....)
Alastor
Ha! Well, isn't that darling.
(The only one who can help Alastor is Alastor himself and he's like "why should I help, what's that bitch ever done for me")
Valera
Very. Should he ever deign to let you try it, the results are best from juuust the very joint of his neck and hood.
(ALASTOR PRACTICE SELF CARE)
Alastor
(FOR THE LAST HALF CENTURY HIS SELF CARE HAS BEEN AVOIDING SEEING/THINKING ABOUT SIR PENT EVER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. He still needs to figure out how to do a self-care that's the opposite of that!)
Duly noted! Alastor's sure it'll never happen, but even so.
Valera
Oh, she isn't so sure! Penny speaks fondly of him.
Alastor
... Hm.
Well, there are different sorts of fondness, aren't there!
Valera
Well, yes of course? She's fond of many people, but she isn't exactly engaged to the vast majority of them. What is his point?
Alastor
That THAT'S the sort of intimacy one usually reserves for someone closer to the "engaged" end of the fondness scale—hold on, engaged??
Valera
Oh? Yes, engaged. Anyway, is it? This must be one of those human things again. There's nothing sexual about enjoying platonic physical contact, there's no reason for it to be relegated to a relationship.
Alastor
Well, what does Alastor know, he's never been a very touchy person. SO, how long have you two been...? Well, probably since before Alastor met either of you, silly question! He just must not have heard.
Valera
Oh, no it's.. Arguably recent? Certainly after he and Pentious started talking. Though don't get too fussed, dear. Pentious has a ring he hasn't lobbed at her yet. They've just agreed to get married, Pentious refers to her as his fiancé. No dates set or anything.
Alastor
Oh, good, so he didn't miss some big announcement. That WOULD have been embarrassing
Valera
He did not! And really, with how he and Pentious get along he might wind up getting asked for advice if a proposal ever actually occurs.
Alastor
... He doesn't know what kind of advice he could offer! He's not known for his expertise in romance, ha.
((suddenly got a flashing glimpse of a possible future where Alastor is the best man, standing like five feet away from Sir Pent trying to hold it together))
Valera
[[ JFDHFKDSHJFKDS HONESTLY.... IT'S LIKELY
Valera
You know, she doesn't think any of them are! Marriage isn't something Veci usually do with aliens, but Pentious insisted he wanted a proper marriage, and kids, and she's not opposed to either if that makes him happy. Though seeing him with the dolls is incredibly endearing.
Alastor
((And I will be FILLED TO THE BRIM with sadistic glee))
The dolls??
Valera
[[ Alastor crying ASMR
Alastor
(("Al are you okay—" "YEAH I'M FINE IT'S JUST. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. ISN'T IT. SO MOVING."))
Valera
Yes! Would you like to hear that story?
Alastor
SURE!!
Valera
Super! So! She doesn't know ALASTOR'S stance on calling women things like sluts and whores, but she herself is.. Not terribly fond of those words. Something about having them screamed at her, just doesn't sit well.
Alastor
One rarely is fond of the words one's been on the receiving end of.
Valera
Indeed. Pentious on the other hand, used them quite freely against any woman he wasn't pleased with.
But! Pentious wants kids someday, and kids are of course, quite perceptive little creatures. And no child of hers is going to grow up internalizing that kind of nonsense, either as a measure of their worth or as something a proper young man calls any lady.
So! She made a few dolls, to demonstrate her point. Pentious wants kids, so she made him some dolls that resemble what his offspring would.
And then hurled abuse at them quite freely!
He didn't take kindly to hearing what random men would call his own daughter, funnily enough.
Alastor
Alastor's like lmao. (IT SEEMS KINDA MEAN AND MEAN THINGS AMUSE HIM... he's half powered by schadenfreude)
Valera
(It WAS mean)
Alastor
And he takes it that worked.
Valera
Pentious can often be found curled up with his little doll family, and he hasn't used a slur since, so! Yes.
Alastor
No surprise there! He is, at his heart, a family man in hibernation, isn't he?
Valera
Not even in hibernation! He's incredibly eager to start a family.
Alastor
Of course. Now that he has the chance. Probably the only man in Hell who does.
Formerly in hibernation, then.
Valera
Can sinners not reproduce?
Alastor
No! Sterile, one and all. The dead do not breed. There are the few rare exceptions who have been supernaturally promoted out of the pool of the damned and made nobility of the same rank as the native Infernal-born or Heaven-fallen demons—Queen Lilith, for instance—but that's not just a thing that HAPPENS. A sinner must be CHOSEN, typically by Lucifer himself. Alastor wouldn't be surprised if it happens less than twice a millennium.
And even at that, to his knowledge these ascendant damned have never bred with each other—only with the Infernal nobility.
Valera
Huh! Fascinating. She really should learn more about the going ons of hell... But good to know! That explains the way Pentious.. Basically went feral as soon as he found out it was possible to have a family.
She's still not sure about the whole "eyes going red" thing, but he's explained it as any peak of emotion.
Alastor
It happens!
... Did you account for the possibility of him being sterile when you promised him a family? Or did you make the promise on the assumption that he's as fertile as any living man?
Valera
Oh, she can reproduce with anyone who has a soul. Pentious IS a damned soul. Ergo...
Alastor
Getting around the usual rules, then! Good. Alastor would so hate to hear if he'd gotten his hopes raised just for them to be dashed again.
Valera
Oh, she was careful to check! Many demons are soulless beings, and she hates to be made a liar of. Though she wasn't even sure poor Pentious even had genitals at the time!
Alastor
Well. Surprise.
Valera
She is Looking Away
Yes... Surprise indeed.
Alastor
He is the picture of :) neutrality
Valera
Val is trying very hard to keep the conversation from going to DARK PLACES. So!!! Subject change time.
Did you and he have fun at your last visit? He tends to give her a summary, but it's nice to hear the other perspective
Alastor
OH. YES. SURE. DELIGHTFUL TIME.
Valera
Oh? Delightful?
Alastor
Yeah, sure! ... Why, did he not think so?
Valera
Oh! He.. Got very drunk. His memories get fuzzy.
Alastor
... Well, that was half of what made it delightful!
Valera
She wouldn't know, but she's very glad to hear it!
Alastor
You abstain? Or not biologically capable?
Valera
Oh, neither. Rarely have the chance to actually relax anymore, too many attempts to murder her over the years. Regicide is very in, you know.
Alastor
Heavy is the head!
Valera
Hah! He can say that again. It's a thankless job. But somebody's got to do it.
Alastor
((I'M RUNNIN OUT OF STEAM... and they chatted about a lot more than I expected, this was productive!! Anywhere else you think we oughta steer the conversation or d'you think it's safe to go And Then They Chatted More, The End))
Valera
[[ NAH I THINK ITS BEEN ESTABLISHED WELL ENOUGH. STEER BACK TO MUSICALS, THEY TALK SHOP, AND THEN WHAM FOOD
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